Prey

Chapter 92

Xander's POV:

Holy shit holy shit holy shit!

Well, that came out of fucking nowhere!

I could only manage to stay there beside her on the bed for about ten more minutes before I found it impossible to internalize the very wide variety of things that I was feeling and made a casual retreat into the shower.

My hope was that the water would help me clear my head, but really just to give me time to think.

She just brought it up so casually... like it just heald the same weight as getting her the guitar.

And the fact that to her, it probably did nearly sent that anger that nearly shattered my glass boiling over.

She saw sex as just purely fundamental.

I knew it could be, but the fact that that's all she saw it as...

The way she so casually explained how she already expected it to be an uncomfortable and painful experience.

How she'd already accepted it, and yet still wanted to try it for that 'small chance that she would find it enjoyable'.

Bullshit.

It was so peculiar hearing the topic just so freely fall from her lips.

After she had to tell me about how she grew up, of course, I had questions but kept them to myself because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

I didn't want to make her relive the memories because I could only imagine how strange it was for her to grow up in those kinds of conditions.

I guess I'd just forgotten how every awful thing was completely normal to her, she probably would have answered them with no hesitance because it wasn't that big of a deal to her.

And I despised it.

The claws I'd been holding back were now finally free.

The more of a glimpse I got into the finer details of her upbringing, the worse it got.

They destroyed the way she viewed certain things, and she doesn't even realize the extent.

She was beginning to see some of thoes snaller changes, but I don't think she'll be able to realize the full extent without a little bit of help.

Which was one reason why I offered what I did.

Both to direct the intense reaction I was having to her words into something more favorable, and because as I said... I wanted it to be me.

I just never imagined that she'd actually want that kind of experience.

I just hoped that I handled it well... That the strange boost in morale the initial thought of going through with it didn't surprise her too much.

I meant what I said about making it enjoyable for her, making it fun.

And with her, I do truly believe that I'd be good at it.

Vampires already had pleasure instincts as it is, thus being a reason we are considered better at it, but I feel like it becomes so much more than that if you know the person.

My breaths were beginning to turn heavy, thanking the sound of the water above me for covering it.

And here I thought that biting her would make it hard for me to control myself...

Vampires didn't typically indulge in casual sex unless we planned on never seeing that person again, or if it's established beforehand that it's purely for the physicality of it.