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Bondita heard it all.

The taunts and alegations Thakuma had thrown her pati babu's way. She did not like it when people talked to her pati babu like that. What confused her was the lack of a response from her pati Babu's side.

" Thakuma...!"

Thakuma had known Bondita had been listening in on their conversation.

" How could you ? "
" Well...your pati babu didn't say I was wrong."
" He was being polite...!"
" No. He had nothing to say because he knew I was right."

Bondita's eyes pricked with tears of anger. She too, like her pati babu decided to take the high road and not indulge in an argument with the elder. She was walking away when she felt a painful grip and the next thing she knew, she was being thrown in a near by room.
She looked at her arm, a mark forming. How was she going to explain it to pati babu without lieing to him ?

" Just because you have learnt to read and write a few letters doesn't mean you are educated. From where I see, it is not good enough for servival in the real world Bondita."

Bondita was full on glaring at her thakuma. If she had something to say to her, she could have said so without hurting her. There was no need of such dramatic manhandling.

" You know nothing..."
" You will shut up and listen to your thakuma today or has your husband not taught you to respect the elders ?"

Bondita bit the insides of her cheek and nodded. The sooner this is all over, the better. Her pati babu looked upset, she needed to go to him.

" Thinking of your pati babu ? Good. Good to see that your small, little world revolves around him. The problem I have is the misunderstanding on your part that his world revolves around you too."

Ok. Bondita knew her thakuma was wrong.

" You are mistaken Thakuma. He himself told me what I mean to him." She could feel a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. " He told me I am his world." The mockery in her Thakuma's eyes irked her.
" Yes... And...?"

" And he told me how much he respected me, cherished me, cared for me. He likes my company. He can do anything for me, my happiness. He even..."

" Got you a chhoti patni. Bet that made you really happy."

Bondita never had an answer for this taunt.

" What you are describing might be true. I don't doubt that. Your husband is a good man and yes I have seen in his eyes, what he says is true. But it only is true to the point where he has to chose between you and his ambition."

"Ambition ?"

" Bondita don't you see ? His world, its not you, its his ambition, his fitoor. His madness to change the society. His dreams of education and rights for women. You are not his world. You are just the face of his campaign...!"

And for the first time since this conversation started, Bondita seemd to pay attention.

" Yes he cares for you, respects you, love you but the moment you oppose him..."

" He tries to make me understand his point of view."

" No. He plays cruel tricks to make you understand." She came to stand right in front of Bondita.

" He once threw you out of the house because you didn't tell him why you stole the money of the villagers. You had to be punished. And your pati babu did just that, like any other ordinary man. This is what men do. Keep women close to them till and until they find a fault. Please explain how your pati babu is any different from a common man."

She knew the answer.

" He accepted his mistake. Something no ordinary human does readily let alone a husband. He knelt in front of me for what he did. He came for me. I am old enough now to know that a woman who has once kept a foot in a place like heera mandi is not acceptable in society. He still came for me, begged for forgiveness, took a knife to his gut and brought me back to haveli with full respect. A man should not be recognised by the mistakes he made but what he did to make it right. And my pati babu did enough."

" You are right. What he did was remarkable. But why did make the mistake of hurting you again by bringing in a second wife. Bondita you are educated. Now I am from the society, I know it is wrong yet acceptable for a man to have two wives. You know it's wrong too...but is it acceptable to you ? "

Bondita took a step back, eyes glued to the floor, tears now threatening to fall.

" You had accepted to be the badi patni under pressure but did you actually accept that ? What justification do you have for your pati Babu's actions ?"

" He was trying to bring me to the right path." She meekly answered. " I understand why he did it " and yet this time she did not believe the words that escaped her lips.

Yes, in the past years she had understood the magnitude of her mistakes and that her pati babu did what he did only for her but the question she never got an answer to was " was it the only way...?" " Was it justified to commit a crime, to disregard the value and institution of marriage simply to excite her interest in studies ?"
Crime, Yes it was, according to her pati babu and he had still committed it with full knowledge of the implications, he had been counting on those said implications !

And justification, she had none.
Bondita had pounder on it for days, how had her pati babu, who could not have seen one frown on her forehead, had made her a weep to no end.

The answer to why, she had it. The answer to how, that she was afraid to find out. She knew what she meant to him, no doubt there, and he still did what he did.

Which meant he was capable of hurting her. And the thought had rattled her. Her pati babu was capable of hurting her and who was to say he won't do it again.

The thought had become unbearable to an extent where she decided it was not healthy for her anymore. She had no courage to ask her pati babu, who had drowned himself in guilt, for she had herself made enough mistakes. She couldn't scarf down a morsel of food which was not to her liking and she had shamelessly tried to shove her own feelings down his throat. She understood the suffocation he might have felt. And so she decided to only focus on what she did wrong, why she did it and how could she make up for it.

To be able to sleep at night, she had decided to stop focusing on what her pati babu did. It was painful, way too painful to share with anyone, painful enough to not share with her own self.

She had decided to not poke that wound.

And here today, her Thakuma was scratching her wound. It was too much for Bondita. She didn't want to go down that spiral again.

Her thakuma was not done yet.

" His ambition is what drives his life and your role, as of any other wife, is to just assist him to reach his goal. Now what ever happened is in the past. I can allow all that happened to slid because it is not something unheard of. Every thing you went through is just how a woman is supposed to live in the society. Till her marriage is in existence."

Bondita was again taken aback. Existence of her marriage...?

" In what ever happened, you always were his wife. But these days I hear he is working on a law which would nullify marriages such as yours."

Bondita felt cold sweat drip down her forehead. She knew she was not getting out of this conversation undamaged.

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