THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS

[33]

[33]

- ATLAS -

-

SHE WAS REPLAYING over and over and over in mind like a fucking broken record.

I hated this so much but I loved it so much. I hated it so much, I loved it so much.

The way her body felt in my hands made my body burn in a way I didn't think it could. My mind would flit back to the way she would gasp or hum when my fingers traced the softness of her skin. My face would burn when I remembered the way she pulled my face back to her, whispering one word.

Please...

I let out a groan and dropped my head in my hands. I fucked up whatever it was we had going. She was probably going to question every little thing that transpired the night before. Then, she'll probably never meet my eyes again.

I dropped my head back onto the couch and let out a sigh. As I stared at the ceiling, I felt myself get angry at all the shit that's going on between Eden and I.

I'm going to hurt her one day so badly. One day, I'll have such a bad mood swing, I'll accidentally tell her something that'll break her to her smallest pieces. She doesn't need me. She needs someone who can build her up, not do the opposite.

I stared at the bottle of pills on my nightstand and moved to pick the bottle up. I stared at the prescription in disgust. These white pills are the only thing keeping you stable, my brain laughed at me. I hated it so much, but like always, I needed them.

With that thought, I downed a pill and gulped down the half-empty bottle of water on the table. I collapsed onto the bed with a sigh.

My mind wandered back to Eden. The way she pulled her hair back into a ponytail when she was bored or nervous. The little half smile she gives you when she wants you to talk to her or touch her. The way she only wears those diamond earrings she has on Fridays. The way she presses her heels together in the elevator.

She probably didn't know she did half of those things, but I know. I know that she hates the idea that the world is dying. I know that she hates the word marbles. I know that she loves to listen to music. I know that she wants to know so much about me.

And I let her.

With her, I don't mind. I want her to know everything about me and everything I don't know about me. I've never ever wanted this and would never seek it out, but now with Eden...

That's all I fucking want.

Someone knocked on the door and I frowned. I slipped out of bed and moved to the door. I swung the door open and smiled at Julia who was standing on the other side of the door.

"Hey," She smiled and I smiled back.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, looking down the hallway and then back to her.

"Since you, Eden, and I are the only ones not doing anything. You wanna go out for lunch?" She asked, "We were thinking sushi,"

I smiled, but before I could tell her my answer, she squinted at me, "You do like sushi, right? Cause I asked Jude and Dawson before and they hate it."

I laughed, "Yeah, they hate anything seafood."

She shook her head, "And you?"

I smiled, "Let me grab my jacket and I'll be right with you."

She nodded, excitedly and I turned around grabbing the jacket hanging from my chair. I slipped it on and brushed my fingers through my hair. I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my phone and wallet, slipping them into my pocket.