Cherries: Thank you for coming in!
OJ: Oh, sure! Yeah, you were recommended by my niece.
Cherries: Yeah!
OJ: She's four... so, we're not...
Cherries: You ever paid your taxes before?
OJ: Um, no, never have.
Cherries: Yeah, us neither!
OJ: Wait... what?
Cherries: I see, uh, you have your mortgage statement? That's good?
OJ: Yeah, it should have all the paperwork.
Cherries: What kind of deductions were you thinking about?
OJ: I think just the standard.
Cherries: You know, I highly recommend that you deduct all baby toys that you bought!
OJ: Ba... baby toys?
Cherries: Yeah! It's a new deduction!
OJ: You can... you can deduct baby toys?
Cherries: It's called the BTD. BTD deduction.
OJ: BTD... what is that, the baby toy deduction-
Cherries: Yeah, that's right, the baby toy deduction.
OJ: *shakes head* Okay.
Cherries: Pretty standard!
OJ: Is it?
Cherries: Um, you got your W4's?
OJ: Yep.
Cherries: And your 1099's?
OJ: Mhmm!
Cherries: W9's?
OJ: Yep!
Cherries: WTF's?
OJ: ...WTF's?
Cherries: Uh, we really need your WTF's. Can you find that online?
OJ: Uh, maybe, let me check... *pulls out phone*
Cherries: How many dependents do you have?
OJ: Nope, no dependents!
Cherries: You wanna... you wanna put us down?
OJ: ...As what?
Cherries: As dependents!
OJ: ...No.
Cherries: Could we make a suggestion?
OJ: Sure.
Cherries: In the future, let's think about diversifying!
OJ: Diversifying what?
Cherries: Well, look at all this paper! It's all white!
OJ: That's... that's not what that means.
Cherries: It's the 90's, you know.
OJ: No, it's 2021.
Cherries: *start chewing on pieces of paper*
OJ: Please don't.
Cherries: Well, everything tastes good!
OJ: Okay.
Cherries: Okay, I've entered everything in!
OJ: Okay, good!
Cherries: Looks like you're gonna be audited!
OJ: What?!
Cherries: Yeah, you really shouldn't've tried to deduct those baby toys.
OJ: *stammering*
Cherries: What were you thinking?! *giggle* You can't deduct baby toys!
OJ: YOU TOLD ME TO!
Cherries: Uh, federal agents are on their way now, so...
OJ: *frantically trying to make a phone call* Oh, God... oh, God, okay...
Cherries: So, if I were you, I would leave fast.
OJ: Okay, so what happens when- *realizes the Cherries are gone, looks around for them*
Cherries: *already walking out the door* Byeeeeeeeee!
YOU ARE READING
Inanimate Insanity Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionWARNING: The following contains harsh language and implied sexual content. May not be suitable for younger readers. Some of these just come into my mind and I decided to write them down
