LAST RESORT | JIKOOK ✔️

8. MORE THAN JUST A BRUISED EGO

Jimin isn't exactly sure why he responded to Jeongguk the way that he did last night. He has always somewhat believed what his asshole one-night stands say; that he's only useful for his body. But he has never openly repeated those words back to himself, nevermind the very person he slept with.

Not only did the subtle ache in his lower back keep him up last night but so did his thoughts. After coming out of the bedroom when he just finished up with his bath, he felt so vulnerable. He knows why: he always leaves right after sex. Right after the first night. This is most definitely going to take some getting used to but for the money, it's all worth it. That's what he keeps trying to remind himself, at least.

Thankfully, Taehyung isn't going to school. The latter mentioned that if he did, he'd probably be attending Jimin's university. But he doesn't have the capacity to deal with the other boy's teasing right now. He didn't get to cram as much as he would have liked to and that was his first mistake. Having someone pay for your schooling doesn't matter if you aren't going to pass any of your classes. He needs to start focusing more. He just wonders if it's possible.

When the lesson ends, Jimin closes his laptop as well as his books, stuffing them into his bag. It definitely doesn't help that whenever he sits in the lecture room, all that he can picture is the way Jeongguk was looking at him and indirectly talking to him during the presentation. The blond shakes his head, swinging his bag over his shoulder while heading up the stairs and into one of the main hallways.

Being observant is something that he can't quite help. He always seems to ponder the lives of other students who stride through the school, especially those that seem to be so carefree. Evidently he has no idea what their lives are like outside of what he can see in front of him. But at least they can force their lips into some kind of smile, even if it's fake.

Rather than going back to Taehyung's before his next and last lesson, he decides to spend some time outside of the school, perched against the trunk of one of many trees. It isn't as crowded as it is inside and it's quiet. He can hear the subtle breeze whistle in the wind, just strong enough to leave a lingering of cold affection against his cheek. His blond hair is rustled around as if the breeze possesses its own fingers, loosening strands from their styled position.

Moments like these are what Jimin truly treasures since his life feels chaotic most of the time. He always thought journaling seemed ridiculous and anytime it was suggested to help put him at ease, he would always scoff and brush it off. But one day he decided to give it a shot and surprisingly enough, it has helped tremendously to quell the constant churning in his head. His thoughts are the equivalent of brattish children and he hasn't quite found a suitable precept to control them. Hopefully this is a step in the right direction.

Following a quiet huff of air, Jimin places the end of his pen against his bottom lip, looking over the fresh page he just turned to. Writing is one thing but trying to figure out what to write is the difficult part. Apparently he's supposed to talk about the very first thing that pops into his head and so that's what he ends up doing.

His situation with his apartment that he needs to sort out and his deal with Jeongguk and the money. How staying with Taehyung is nice and he's grateful but most of the time, he feels like he's in the way of everything.

"What's this?" Jimin shoots up to his feet as soon as his journal is taken out of his hands.

"Really, Ryung? Give it back." Jimin reaches forward but the journal is lifted out of his reach.

"No way, I wanna read. I didn't know you had a diary," he replies evenly, scanning the most recent page.

Jimin continues to follow him around in circles, trying to grab his journal. "I said give it back, asshole! This stuff is private. Fuck off." He finally manages to grasp it between his fingers, tucking it within his arm.