Chapter 14 - Bittersweet

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Ashley

A few weeks had gone by, exactly how many? I couldn't quite say. It felt like years, every painstaking minute that I didn't hear Robin's voice, or see her smile, or that coy look in her face—it felt like my own personal hell. I gnaw at the acrylic on my nails anxiously as I scrolled through Robin's Instagram feed.

The dark-haired woman had only contacted me once after our spat outside the popular nightclub a few weeks ago. It was a brief text saying that the paperwork for the annulment was prepared and needed to be signed at my earliest convenience. I replied with a simple 'okay', but made no attempts to meet up since then. I didn't want to sign; I couldn't do it.

Somehow it felt like signing those papers would mean Robin and I were over, for good. The relationship that has barely started, would be permanently discontinued. Maybe that's an excuse. Maybe I'm just a coward. Maybe I just couldn't face her.

"Are you going to get any of my work done?"

My neck whipped around, startled at the voice.

Ellie stood, dressed casually in a plain t-shirt and jeans. Her perfectly manicured toes were hidden in Nike runners.

"I'm just about done—"

She sighed, leaning on my desk slightly. "How long are you two going to avoid each other? It's fucking with my work and social life."

"I don't know what you mean." I lied.

"Ashley, please. Robin doesn't even come up to my office anymore. I try to book her for gigs and I get shit excuses because of whatever 'effed up situation you two are in."

A part of me knew Robin was probably also avoiding me; hearing it hurt like hell though.

"I know it's easier said than done but you two need to put aside whatever differences you may have and try to be professional for the sake of this business. She signed a contract, you work here. We have a photoshoot booked for next Tuesday, fix it." Ellie was stern. Her eyes glowered at me over the top of her designer sunglasses.

I nodded at my young boss, who I'd grown to somewhat admire. Ellie taught me a lot in the past few weeks. She even offered to pay for a designing course which would put me in line for a promotion at the company—which I politely declined. After high school, I was so sure about my passion for medicine. This job, everything I've tried to do was somehow in pursuing my dream of being a doctor. Now, I wasn't so sure. I wasn't quite sure of anything these days.

She was right. I couldn't allow my personal life to interfere with what we do here at May's. The clock read half past eleven. I thought about where Robin would be or what she'd be doing. At this time, on a Thursday, the dark-haired woman would probably be in the middle of her class. In order to accommodate her sessions at May's, Robin opted to take most of her classes online now.

The air felt a lot chillier in the room now that I'd made up my mind about seeing Robin. My blond hair laid sleek in a professional bun; the white button-up shirt clung to my cleavage—mainly due to binge eating my sadness.

"Alright, I'm heading out for the day."

Ellie raised a brow, but didn't stop me as I logged out of the servers and slung the lilac handbag over my shoulder.

The elevator played soulful jazz music in the otherwise lonely elevator. No one had joined the entire ten floors down to the basement parking garage. It gave me time and I needed time; I needed to figure out what I would say to the woman I'd slept with almost every night for almost three months.

***

The drive to Robin's apartment was quiet. I kept reciting the lines I'd come up with as if there was a part to be played. The closer I got to my destination, the colder the air felt in my coupe. I sucked in a breath, parallel parking beside the sleek, black BMW that I was all too familiar with. My fingers instinctively tugged at the hem of my lilac, pencil skirt, pulling it lower on my thighs.

My feet moved on their own towards the building, slipping inside as two residents popped the door to leave. I pressed the button summoning the elevator, anxiety almost stifling me as I waited. The doors finally opened and I entered without looking; bumping into a curvy woman just slightly shorter than I was.

"I'm sorry—" we both said. Then simultaneously let out an awkward laugh.

"My bad, I wasn't paying attention." She finished. The woman stepped out, waving me off.

As the elevator doors were about to close, I heard a deep voice calling out.

"Gabriel c'mon, we gotta beat the lunch rush!"

"Jesus, I'm right here!" the curvy woman yelled back.

Gabriel. Gabriel? As in... The Gabriel that Robin hooked up with?

Be rational Ashley, deep breath. Don't kill her. I tried to talk myself down as the elevator came to a halt. Maybe they just happen to live in the same building...Yeah, right.

My body was shaking as I walked down the carpeted hallway to Robin's apartment. The knock came across as pounding on the tall woman's door. Light footsteps were heard approaching the other side of the door. A few seconds later, latches were undone and there she stood in all her glory.

Robin's dark hair was in a messy updo. She stood tall with in her favourite ripped-sleeved rock band t-shirt, and jeans. With her brow arched, her stance was defensive.

Don't do it.

Don't.Do.It.

"Gabriel?" I did it.

I shoved her aside, entering the white-walled apartment with my arms crossed.

"Gabriel?!" I repeated incredulously. "Are you kidding me?"

"First of all," her voice sounded like honey, sweet and tangy. "I left work with the keys for the bar, she just came to grab them."

She took a step towards me, kicking the door in behind her. Suddenly, I felt hot.

"Secondly. Why are you here?"

Robin stood so close that I could feel her breath against my cheek.

"I—"

"The impression I got was that you wanted to be alone. You didn't reach out, one-word answers, I thought we were done." She cut me off.

"I wanted to talk."

Her eyes were fierce. I knew that leaving things the way I did wasn't the mature thing to do, and even now I wasn't so sure I was ready to have the conversation about us.

"You need to stop dodging Ellie and shirking your responsibilities at May's. You signed a contract and you're legally obligated to fulfil them." My tone was even, professional and strict. "Your business there has nothing to do with us, and our relationship. So please, let us try to be cordial for the sake of work."

"Cordial?" She chuckled. "Are we enemies now? Because we drunkenly got married?"

She had a sparkle in her eye, her voice jovial.

"I know that the conversation we had at the bar that night put us in an off position. You wanted answers that I couldn't give you. I'm still not sure I can Robin."

There was a twinge of sadness on her face, but it quickly disappeared. "I understand. And...You're right. I'll be there for the fitting next week."

Her lips were taut. I wanted to kiss her frown away. I wanted to give her everything she deserved and more from a partner. I wanted so badly to tell her all the things I knew she wanted to hear; but I couldn't, at least not right now.

I walked towards the door, my stomach lurching. Robin reached out for me, pulling me into her arms.

"You have no idea how I feel about you." She whispered. Her lips pressed against my forehead, sending heat through my body.

Her fingers rested against my neck as our foreheads touched. Against my better judgement, my lips brushed against hers softly. I missed her. I missed this woman.

Robin's arms loosened and she gave me a small smile.

"I'll be seeing you around."

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