Before It's Too Late

Chapter 36

AVERY'S ATTENTION SHIFTED TO Shelly's message. It had been less than an hour since their video call. So, what zip file was she saying? She was curious to know what her best friend found out so quickly.

From: Shelly. MD
Subject: Your Destiny.zip
To: Jackson.Avery

📁
   Destiny.zip

Ave

See attached. 😍

BTW, you're welcome!

Shells❤️
*

Avery muted, seeing how Shelly named the file. Her curiosity turned into nervousness. What if she wouldn't like what was inside the file? Should she open it or answer David's message?

Quick thinking, it would seem easy for her to decide. Read the file or reply to David? But the battle going inside her mind was like a sign. She knew choosing between the two could signify the path she might take.

What did she want? It was like choosing between a known hell or possibly unknown heaven. Was there still heaven for her? Uncertainty clouded her mind. It reminded her of what her dad said about letting go vs. fear of the unknown.

She remembered the goal she set for herself when she took the plane from Boston to Florida—leaving all memories of David behind. Letting go of everything, David. She knew it would be the challenge of a lifetime with her little bean. She still had question after question. Every night before she slept. Every time she was alone. Whenever she thought of what future she could give her child.

On her phone, she could see the names of Shelly and David, reminding her of both messages. If she replies to David's, it will not live up to her promise of no contact after Boston. He might misunderstand her response. It might give him false hope. So she reminded herself of the first step: letting go.

The questions that still bombarded her at night, whenever loneliness struck, every time she doubted her capability of raising her child alone loomed. Was she making the right decision? What if she was unable to move on after letting go?

It had been months, yet her fears still haunted her. Everybody knew, everyone had an opinion, and each one cared. Each time her fears hit her, Avery wished someone could instruct her on ways to end them. It would be convenient if there were a manual or TikTok video for letting go and moving on.

"Everything alright, Muffin?" 

Her dad's voice ended her reverie.

She looked at him standing by her door, watching her. "I don't feel like I'm okay now, Dad."

Slowly her dad walked toward her and gestured, asking if sitting on the other side of the bed was okay. Avery nodded. She badly needed a wise man's advice.

"What's going on? You know you can always tell me."

"David texted me. Today he leaves for Africa. He put me in his will. He said he won't give up on me." She held back her tears and leaned her head on her dad's shoulder.

"How do you feel about it?"

"Mixed emotions... sad, worried and doubtful... of myself."

Slowly, she felt her dad's arms covering her in a warm embrace. "Why are you sad? Do you miss him?"

Avery's silent tears turned into soft sobs. "I still do, Dad. But my mind had overpowered my heart. It's just sad that even though I'm trying hard to let go, there are days I still see him when I wake up in the morning. And now that he's leaving, going far away, I guess it's now letting go in the real sense."