Apathy

38| The Truth

A S T R A E A

I don't think I have felt this relieved and relaxed for years. Santi and gramps came home a few weeks ago and everything is doing just fine.

I still don't know how to feel about Verra's death. She was a sister who betrayed me. She doesn't deserve my grief but I couldn't help but feel sorrow and guilt. After all, she died protecting my family.

She hurt me. She betrayed me. She lied to me. She put my life at risk. She spied on me. But seeing her dead, lifeless body lying on the floor soaked with blood still made my heart clench.

I can't forget the good memories we shared. The times were I cried in her arms and the times where we laughed together until we couldn't breathe.

But now she's gone. She didn't deserve death because in the ned she was a victim like me. She just wanted her parents' love, just like any child would. I somehow regret that I didn't give her a second chance. I was granted one but she didn't have that opportunity. I didn't give it to her. Dying for my family was her way of asking for redemption. I forgive her the minute I knew she was fighting a hopeless battle just to protect my loved one which cost her, her last breath.

I sigh and got out of bed. Mom texted on the family group chat asking for everyone to come downstairs. Now that Santiago and Grandpa are going better, I am sure the whole purpose of this meeting is to talk about the earth-shattering news we found a few weeks ago. The same news that has been endlessly occupying my mind lately.

I close my bedroom's french doors behind me as I made my way to the living room. Mom and Dad were sitting tensely on the couch while Ma and Pa stared at them anxiously with a feeling that I couldn't put my hands on.

I quietly sat next to Valerio and looked at them blankly. I have been trying so hard not to blame them or be angry at them but I couldn't help the feeling of bitterness that has been growing inside of me as each day pass without them explaining.

"So..." Dad cleared his throat when everyone was seated

"We have been waiting for Santiago and Angelo to get better to talk about what Astraea found out a few weeks ago. Even though that was just an excuse to avoid talking to you guys and explaining but we can't keep it a secret any longer. We planned on telling you this after the triplets' birthday but we think that now is the right moment" Mom continued trying to control her emotions

"Before we explain. I know you guys will be mad and you have every right to be furious at us but please try to understand and think about it from our point of view. We don't want this news to ruin our relationship with you or create distance between us" Dad sigh and it's one of the rare times since I knew him that I saw him vulnerable.

"Seventeen years ago when I found out I was pregnant for the fifth time, we were ecstatic. We were really hoping for a girl. A few weeks later we found out that I was pregnant with not only one child but four. We were expecting quadruplet. It made us even happier to have more children" Mom stopped ripping some of the tears from her eyes

The reaction on everyone's faces made me doubt if someone other than my parents knew, which for an unknown reason made me feel a little bit better.

"The most joyful day of that nine months of pregnancy was when we found out the genders. Three boys and finally one girl. I was having a girl, it was like a dream come true. Everything was going fine. There was no complication, everything went smoothly even when I gave birth to you. It was a shock when we were informed that the oldest quadruplet, Appollo had a lung problem and wasn't breathing properly. I was so scared of losing him but I kept pushing until you were all out. We were told later that Apollo passed away a few minutes after I gave birth to him. My heart completely broke. I lost my son that day. And I gained a daughter and two other sons to raise and love" She broke down crying, her eyes filled with guilt, pain, and sorrow