A Wolf's Tear

forty one: the Subject

Once all the emotions have died down, Selena found herself in a state of perpetual self-questioning. She reflected on what had happened days ago. Her training, her brother, and the failed attempt to kidnap her. She was avoiding it, but now it was hard.

The feeling of multiple strangers groping her had only sunk in, and Selena had the urge to vomit.

Maybe pretending that it never happened wasn’t the best of all ideas. But it was all that she could do. Maybe it was her ego and pride, a sense of self-satisfaction knowing that she had persevered through something and she did it all on her own.

That was a lie, of course. If not for Nathaniel, then where would she be now?

Trapped as a political hostage in another continent maybe. Or just dead.

She would be a stupid fool now to deny it. But she was alive because of Nathaniel.

Maybe it was because of Dorran’s confession that now she let herself look at things differently. Though she didn’t know where and how to start.

Nathaniel wasn’t meant for her. She was part of the reason why they couldn’t be together. It was that simple. He had a pack to run and she was too stubborn to let her dreams go.

She let an exasperated sigh slip through her lips, prompting Dorran to look up and stare at her.

“Selena, are you okay?” He asks. The wet sheen on his eyes caused her to feel confused. 

He looked utterly worried.

“Uh, yeah. Just thinking about some things.”

He nods, flattening his lips.

“Does that involve your leg?” Dorran’s brows knitted together.

“Just an accident. Nothing big, really.”

Selena laughed nervously, trying to write her discomfort off.

“I see, so someone pointed a gun at you, pulled the trigger, and then hit your leg?”

Her eyes widened, feeling ultimately cornered.

“You’re very, awfully perceptive Dorran. Why do you worry about me so much?”

“Because my words are true. My heart aches for you, Luna. The last couple of days has been hard for me. I don’t understand this feeling.”

In all honesty, neither did Selena. She wasn’t actively trying to hurt him. She was only trying to peek through the folds of his mind and try to understand him better.

“You just admitted to liking me and even when I can’t promise you anything, you’re still here.”

He chuckles. His laugh made her smile. At least now he was less sad that he could finally bring himself to grin.

“Would you believe me if I told you this is the first time I’ve felt this strongly before? I almost don’t care if I crash and burn if it means I get a chance to someday hold your hand.”

She cleared her throat. Her heart pounded against her chest as she stared at him. She still couldn’t read him and see if he was lying or saying the truth.

“That’s impossible. There’s a whole sea of fishes out there. I’m pretty sure you’ve already found a mermaid.”

“We are wolves, fishes and seas don’t work for us. We only have one destiny and as it turns out, my mermaid was a saltwater alligator.”

She resisted the urge to laugh. She saw how soft his eyes begin to glow brighter. It made her happy to comfort him but sad knowing she might never be able to repay this kind of attention to him.