Alone N.R

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Your POV
I woke up alone, again. What happened to the morning kisses? To the morning greetings that you promised to give me?

I was always an only child. All the attention was on me and so when Peter Parker came, I didn't know how to share.

Parker seemed to be a cool kid, inviting me to watch Star Wars with him and to build Legos. He was like the brother I never had.

My mother, on the other hand, seemed to have swapped me for him. She would ask where he was when Parker wasn't around. What happened to asking me how I felt? How did my day go? How did it feel to have another kid at a similar age? How was it like to share?

I kept telling myself it was because she wanted him to feel included here. Was it because they have a similar alias, that they felt a deeper connection? Deep enough that I didn't matter.

Somewhere along the line when they opened the gates for Parker, I got kicked out as if there weren't enough space. Everyone kept talking about Parker, each time they opened their mouth it was Parker. Was it because he has powers and I don't?

I didn't even bother getting out of bed today. Nobody would ask where I was. Perhaps I was being too good of a kid. They know I wouldn't dare to do anything against my mom's wishes. I always come straight home after school, no partying out with friends, decent grades, always telling mom what I was doing.

They thought I would be fine without attention. This time, I packed my bags and left without telling anyone.

I went to the only other person I knew I was comfortable with, Yelena. Everyone was so fucking busy that they didn't notice I walked out of the compound. I took Tony's car because of the autopilot function and I was sure to drift out during the long trip to Yelena's house.

I knocked on Yelena's door and she took a while before opening it. The first thing I saw was her gun pointing out while she opened the door ajar. A normal response when I didn't tell her I was coming.

After glancing that no one else was around, she pulled me in and guided me to her guest room. "You are in trouble?"

"Should I say that the trouble is that there's no trouble?" She knitted her eyebrow at my words but linking it with the fact that no one else was here with me, she could guess what happened.

"How long will you be staying here?"

"I don't know." I could feel a lump coming up my throat, none of my emotions have come out ever since the start of the drive and it hasn't.

I'm one to forgive, but never forget. If anything happens in the future I can't be certain I won't bring this up again.

"Do you want me here?"

"If you can keep quiet, be my guest." Talking was something I had not intended to do when I went to find Yelena.

Natasha POV
"Hey, Y/N... Y/N?" I wanted to ask if Y/N knows where Peter was but all I saw was an empty bed. She was not in the bathroom when I checked.

Shit. Where could she have gone? She never leaves without telling me. I went downstairs to the team and asked if anyone had seen Y/N, but none of them gave me a positive answer. No one knows where Y/N was, not even Peter.

"Do you know where else she could go?" Steve asked. My mind couldn't think straight as I panicked. Y/N doesn't often go out with her friends and she isn't the type who does spontaneous things. Staying in the compound the majority of the time, I don't know where else she could have gone.

"Y/N took one of my cars." Tony reported back after checking the CCTVs.

"Does your car have tracking?" Steve being hopeful of the situation.

"Of course. I even found the last seen address."

I recognised this address, it was where Yelena stays when she comes to the States. I must have really messed up if Y/N headed there without telling me. "I know where it is."

I took my motorbike and sped all the way there. It wasn't that far but it took about two hours to get there. When I entered the house, all I saw was Yelena sleeping on the bed with Y/N's bag on the side.

"Wake up, you idiot." I slapped Yelena's leg.

She glared at me before saying. "You're the idiot if Y/N came here alone."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know, I fell asleep because I was so bored sitting in silence." Yelena said while pointing up the roof. Using the ladder, I climbed up to see Y/N lying down on the slanted roof with a blanket and pillow.

"You had me worried there." I took a seat next to her. Y/N turned her body and faced her back to me. "Why did you run away?"

She turned around and scoffed at me before packing her things to leave and tossing the pillow at my face which I caught. "What do you think you're doing?" I raised my voice at her, I didn't teach her to be like this.

She scoffed. "What do you think I'm doing?" She spoke softly. "YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO ASK ME WHY I RAN AWAY?" She placed her hand on her forehead and looked away.

"Each time you come to talk to me, it's always 'Have you seen Peter?' or 'Do you know where Peter is?' or 'Did Peter say anything?' Each time someone opens their mouth to talk to me it is ALWAYS. ABOUT. PETER."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I know you want him to feel included, but isn't two weeks enough? I thought you were good at multitasking, but apparently not." She slammed the blanket on the ground before making her way down.

I spent some time collecting my thoughts on the roof, I didn't realise I had been neglecting her. It's true that I have been paying more attention to Peter. I can't believe I asked her that question, she had every right to be angry at me. I was so blinded that she left without telling me that I didn't think from her perspective.

"Told you you're the idiot." Yelena said when I came back down.

I walked over to the guest room and I could hear her sobbing. It broke my heart that I had to be the reason behind her crying. I haven't seen her cry for a long time, maybe I'm not being a good enough mom at teaching her it was okay to show emotion. I don't know how long she has been bottling up her feelings.

I opened the door slowly and Y/N shifted away. "I'm sorry. I know it's my fault." Y/N wiped her eyes but the tears kept flowing. She never liked anyone seeing her cry as well.

"I should never have stopped giving you the attention you deserved." I knelt down in front of her. "I'll keep that in mind and we'll spend more time together. Forgive me?"

Y/N was still trying to calm down and keep her tears to a sniffle. "Did you bring your motorbike?" She said after a while.

"Your favourite one." I know she likes to ride the motorbike with me.

"What about Tony's car?"

"The car can drive by itself."

Silence envelopes us as Y/N thought about her option of leaving or staying. "Let's go." She stood up and took her bag. Yelena whispered something in her ears as they hugged causing Y/N to slap her arm.

I passed her the helmet before she got behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I don't know why I like this so much." She muttered.

"You don't need to have a reason to like it."

Y/N held my waist throughout the entire journey. When we arrived at the compound, she didn't remove her arms so I spun her around and helped take off the helmet before carrying her in.

"I don't know how to hate you mom, I just can't." Y/N said as I sat her down on the bed.

"I'm sorry that you have to think about it, I'll do better."

Y/N stretched out her arms and I got into bed with her. "I may be forgiving, but you only have one chance left." She whispered in my ears.

"I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Good, you can start now."

Written on 8 Nov 2021
Posted on 23 April 2022

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