Number One On The List

Satisfaction of the demons

The satisfaction of the demons was upon me and I knew I was helpless tp it. I had to smoke weed to get numb enough to not think too much about the past, but I end up in my feels and then I miss those I lost. And not ones that died, ones that switched up or fell out. I cleaned up myself as qell as Rhaven and then I let her choose what happened next. She wanted to stay I could tell but at the moment, things were like FWB (Friends With Benefits)  and that's all it would be for now.

I was going to wait til she was comfortable with shit like snuggling and cuddling and making out without fucking. I wanted her to ACTUALLY want me. Not on some pretend shit. Not feeling forced. Genuine feelings. She had gotten dressed and was heading towards the bedroom door when she stopped and said,"I'll be going now. I'm just a text away. You know where to find me." She proceeded to leave my place and head back to hers.

I realized Daemon was probably at work because of the time, 5:14pm. He often worked from 5:14pm-5:40am, Sunday-Friday, weekly. We tried to both work but it just never worked out. Nothing seemed to fall into place for us, so he works and I do the hunting for our source of energy and life. I had forgotten what day it was, Thursday,  so I'd be alone for hours yet. The thought of that kind of excited me a little.

I watched her go into the house from my bedroom window and I also saw her glance up at the window before heading inside. Our eyes had met quickly and then it was over. My phone buzzed in my ass pocket and I had a feeling I knew who it was. And I did...  Daemon.

Reaching for the damned thing, I became slightly irritated that he had been bothering me. My attitude quickly changed however when I saw what he wrote: "Watch over her. The nightmares will begin to get real ugly." I realized he meant because of current events that had just occurred to her. I sighed in frustration but replied back to his message. I typed back: "Got it. Thanks. Needed the heads up." I sighed again, this time, in certainty.  Certainty that she'd be just about fine if not for certain.

I watched her moving inside of the house and made sure to keep an eye on the outside as well. I took notice in a hooded figure looking at her house repeatedly as they walked passed her house. It had me on edge a bit, but I wasn't too worried about the figure. I quite quickly took notice in the fact that she sat on her bed an began to type on her computer  with one hand whe she covered her face with her hair.

I was just an Emo/Scene/County boy and she was my Emo/Scene/Goth/County girl. She was dark an sad like most alternative people yet she had this happy side to her. I suppose it was the same way with me and well, everyone.

My phone went off and I couldn't help but stare at my phone.  She had hit me up. "The sex is good but the rest is toxic.  I'm scared to want you.  You just want to lead me on and get whatever you want then you plan to just leave. I know one day I'd wake up and you'd be packing and that'd be how this ends. Don't make promises you can't guarantee will be followed through.  I'd like to believe that you have the best intentions here. The best of intentions are there somewhere, I know that. I just know that you will find better so go and look for it. Let's be honest,  this is only ever going to be a  friend's with benefits thing. Let's just cut the bullshit." I knew she was right. Good sex lead to conversion.My demons had begin to win.