Chasing Ghosts | Natasha Romanoff

Chapter 42: Secrets Suck

''I just had a very interesting conversation with your cousin.''

All blood drained from Katya's face. Her heart stopped, as did her world.

Here it was, the inevitable. For almost six years had she managed to keep this secret. Managed to bury the topic somewhere in the deepest and darkest parts of her brain. Deep in the maze of memories, where the worst ones were stored.

Ones she never thought about. Ones she wished to unsee, to cut out of her brain.

But she couldn't un-live things, unhear things. Nobody could ever forget anything as traumatic as that.

What Katya could do, was block them. God, was she good at blocking things she did not want to deal with. And on the very top of her list was this exact topic.

''Antonia is your cousin. Dreykov is your uncle. Are you serious?!''

She should have told her. She should have told her. This was bound to happen. Secrets never stay secrets. They only die with people.

And that's where the problem lay. Katya controlled her own secrets, and Natasha too swore to never talk about this.

But she had forgotten that someone else knew. One more person. The only other person alive to know this.

Why this came out now, and why in general, was a mystery. Maybe it had slipped out, but that seemed unlikely. Antonia was careful with her words, like any spy. Maybe Yelena sensed something in her voice when talking about Katya and she pressured her into telling?

It didn't really matter. And Katya was surprised to not feel any hatred towards her cousin. Maybe a part of her had hoped it would come out some other way, without her having to tell Yelena herself. Maybe.

Wobbly, Katya stood, feeling so incredibly nauseous that her double-served dinner could come out at any moment.

''Yelena, let me explain.'' It sounded weak, beaten. Yelena's fury was a lot, which in turn caused Katya to shrink, to make herself smaller.

Yelena stood a couple feet away, fuming. ''You think I wouldn't find out?! Thought all would be fine if you just didn't tell me?! I thought I could trust you, because she does.'' Angrily, she pointed at Natasha, who had rushed out of the house and crossed the yard. ''But you kept this from me.'' Her other hand clenched around her phone so tightly that the screen might crack.

Katya managed to find Natasha's eyes, shaking her head almost invisibly. She needed her to stay out of this. The last thing she wanted was for the two sisters to fight as well.

Reluctantly, Natasha did as asked, backing up but staying within earshot. Although intense worry grew in her chest at the look in her wife's eyes. She knew that look. It was the one where everything inside of her was about to shatter into a million pieces.

''You think I didn't deserve to know this? ''Oh, poor Yelena can't handle that''?'' Yelena quoted, continuing her attack. She was sick and tired of never knowing the secrets everyone else seemed to know. Sick of being excluded.

Katya took a slow step forwards, eyes starting to water. ''It wasn't like that at all. Please, let me explain.''

Her desperation grew, and with that, the threads keeping together her composure slowly started to break. Her heart pounded in her chest, sweat gathering in her hands.

''I bet everybody knows. Everyone but me. Every-"

''Nobody knows!" Her voice was too loud for her own liking, and she hated yelling, but it was impossible to shut Yelena up without it. "Nobody knows," she continued a lot softer, her entire body shaking and feeling weak. She felt both hot and cold, and incredibly nauseous. "Not even my own daughter. Just Nat, because she was there when he threw that on me."