70 [Xisuma Edition]

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[At hospital]

X: [About Ex] I'm here for my sibling

Receptionist: Who's your sibling?

X: You must be new here

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X: Why the heck is there blood everywhere?

Wels: Well, you see, it's simple colour theory.

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xB: Why are women always described as "stronger than she looks" and never "strong as she looks" because her biceps are bigger than her head

X: A possible adjustment to this, a woman with biceps bigger than her head being described as "stronger than she looks"

Tango: Looks like she could lift a car, turns out she can throw a car.

Cub: She said she could only trust me as far as she could throw me. Which as it turns out was pretty far.

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Jevin: Xisuma, son of Void...

X: Jevin, son of... a bitch.

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Joe: the next time X's angry with me, i'll drape him in a cape and say "now you're super angry"

Joe: maybe he'll laugh, maybe i'll die

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Pearl: [comes in covered in bruises and bandages]

X: Pearl what happened! You're supposed to come here if you have a fight!

Pearl: I didn't have a fight

X: What do you-

Pearl: I didn't have a fight I tripped over Jellie and fell down three flights of stairs

X:

Pearl: I've broken four bones

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X, singing Evanescence: Wake me up–

Keralis, singing Wham!: –before–

Hels, singing Green Day: –September ends.

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X: Well, this is the weirdest occult summoning ritual I've ever walked in on.

Grian, summoning NPG: ... How many have you walked in on?

X: Honestly, I don't bother counting.

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Stress: Want me to do a tarot reading for you?

X: Sure?

Stress, cards out: So this one tells me you have a beautiful smile, and this one tells me you are a precious angel, and this one says your eyes-

X: Stress, those aren't even tarot cards, they're just pictures of me.

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