46. CLOSER TO THE EDGE

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Jeongguk had the feeling that he had been standing still for a good few hours, completely still, holding his breath almost all the time

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Jeongguk had the feeling that he had been standing still for a good few hours, completely still, holding his breath almost all the time. He hadn't realized that trying on a wedding suit could take so long. If it were up to him, he would probably go to one of the most visited boutiques and just buy one of the suits from the collection that he would have liked first. Preferably black. He liked the classics. He has always believed that black is the color that goes with everything and for any occasion.

But now he was standing in front of a huge mirror on a circular platform, in a champagne colored tuxedo. He had to admit that the cut matched his athletic figure. Quite tight pants emphasized long legs, a vest exposed his narrow waist, and a suit jacket his wide shoulders. But he didn't like its pale, almost white color, which instead of accentuating his milky skin, only emphasized how devoid of radiance it was. He knew that during the ceremony, he would probably be so nervous that he would look in that champagne tuxedo as if he was about to leave this world. On top of that, he was annoyed by the floral pattern of the fabric that gleamed in the light, shimmering with gold, which only reminded him of the awful, hideous cake Lisa had chosen for their wedding.

In addition, his neck was unrestrained by the narrow tie he was used to. Instead, a red wine colored fly appeared, and a pocket square of the same shade protruded from the breast pocket. Of course, the whole thing was complemented by gold cuff links, and his feet were adorned with custom-made nude shoes that he would never have chosen himself.

Despite the fact that the tuxedo suited his silhouette perfectly and the materials used to make it belong to the high-end fabrics, he felt like in a disguise. But he didn't say a word. He stared at his reflection blankly, looking forward to someone else graciously ending his suffering. But he let the tailor do his job. Even though his body had been here for several hours, his thoughts were still in TJE's headquarters. He couldn't forget what his brother told him before he left his office.

After what his brother confessed to him, they hardly spoke at all. Jeongguk's throat was so tight that he could hardly choke out a soft "thank you", then quickly ran out of the office, fearing that his suppressed emotions would eventually spill out of him, and he would cry in front of his brother like a little boy. Besides, he knew there were no words to express what that meant to him. The fact that someone whose reaction he feared so much told him that he accepted him as he is, was indescribable.

His thoughts, however, did not go only to TJE's headquarters, but also to the third floor of the tenement house, where most likely there was now a man whom he could not forget. His brother said that Taehyung still loves him and that if he also loves him, he should be with him. Could he really do it? Could he jeopardize the welfare of his family for his happiness? In a month and a half, he was to swear to Lisa undying love and loyalty. Was there still time to pull back?

Feeling emotions grab his throat again, he swallowed hard and looked at the man who was doing something to the right leg of his pants. He almost prayed for a moment that the tailor would finally finish and said he could go. He knew it was his last fit, but he didn't care if the right leg would be any different than the left one. Such trivial matters did not matter, as there was a constant struggle in his mind and heart.

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