All My Hoes
Y/n Diggory: HOLY SHIT
Y/n Diggory: HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Y/n Diggory: IM SHITTING MYSELF
Y/n Diggory: HOLY FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING GOD
DAMN SHIT
Granger Danger: you good?
Y/n Diggory: HAVE YALL
SEEN THE BEAUXBATONS
CHAMPION FLEUR?!?
Y/n Diggory: 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐
Food Boi Wazlib: YEAH?
Y/n Diggory: HOW IS IT
POSSIBLE FOR A REAL
LIFE HUMAN BEING TO BE
THAT FRIGGIN GORGEOUS
Y/n Diggory: AHHHHHHH
Food Boi Wazlib: WAIT- WDYM
Food Boi Wazlib: ARE YOU
PLANNING ON ASKING HER
TO THE BALL
Barrold Pottery: I hope not
Message not sent
Y/n Diggory: MAYBE, WHY?
Food Boi Wazlib: NO
Y/n Diggory: YES
Y/n Diggory: why, do
YOUUUU like her
Food Boi Wazlib: UHHH
URMMM ERRR
Y/n Diggory: YOU DO!
Y/n Diggory: now Ron, that is
not very nice to cheat on your
wife Herman
Food Boi Wazlib: 😐🖕
Y/n Diggory: ok fine
Y/n Diggory: how about we
both ask Fleur and see who
she picks
Food Boi Wazlib: fine
Y/n Diggory: fine
Female Weasley
Harry Potter: hey Gin...
Harry Potter: so I kinda
need a favour
Female Weasley: no.
Female Weasley has silenced notifications from this chat
Harry Potter: well fuck.
Harry, Ron and Hermione's gc
Hermione: Harry, I know
you're scared
Hermione: and I know you
Think she'll say no
Hermione: but cmon you've
Beaten He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
In the flesh TWICE! Killed a basilisk,
Dealt with a 'murderer' who was after
you, and a werewolf, AND BEATEN
A DRAGON!! Also you've fought Ron
over the last chicken drumstick
Ron: one of the bravest
things you could do😔
Ron: and I bet it tasted delicious😔
Ron: well, I would know bc
I beat your ass😔
Hermione: Besides the
point Ron!
Hermione: Harry, you've done
all the things that prove
you to be very courageous
and I wish you would just pluck
up the courage and march up to
Y/n and ask her to the fucking ball!
Harry: 😳
Ron: 😳
Harry: did Hermit just swear?😧
Ron: this feels illegal😧
Hermione: oh stop it!
Hermione: just ask her to the ball!
Hermione: I will not stand for your
moping
Hermione: Y/n's a well-liked girl
Hermione: she won't be available for
very much longer
Harry: ok fine I'll ask her
Hermione: and she would
be lucky to go with you!
Hermione: wait
Hermione: you'll ask her!?
Harry: yes fine
Harry: but I get 'I told you so'
rights when she says no
Ron: JUST GO ASK HER
Harry: ok ok I'm going I'm going
IRL
Harry left his dorm and set out on another mission, to ask Y/n Diggory to the ball.
But who was he kidding?
She would never say yes. Especially to him. She hated him.
Hermione shouldn't have given him such a confidence boost.
This was such a stupid idea.
These thought swirled through his mind as he wracked his brain of where she could be. He really should have checked the map before he left.
But luck seemed to be on his side today.
Just as he turned a corner he saw her speaking to- Draco Malfoy?
"So, what I'm essentially saying is, will you go to the ball with me?"
No. No no no no no no no.
"Are you being serious right now?" Her voice echoed through the almost empty corridor.
"Yes?"
"So let me get this straight. You call me a blood traitor for years, bully me and everyone around you for reasons I can't even comprehend, and you expect me to go to the Yule Ball with you?"
"Pretty much, yeah"
"Well, let me put this in terms you tiny brain will be able to understand, you are a prick who bleaches his hair and is an utter asshole. So, no" she finished and walked away, leaving a very stunned and embarrassed Malfoy.
Harry didn't know if he was more relieved, or terrified.
Would he get a rejection as brutal as that one if he asked her?
He didn't know and was sure as hell too terrified to find out.
Maybe he could ask her through someone else...
Maybe he could get Hermione to ask her for him.
He knew Ginny wouldn't now...
Why did this have to be so complicated?
YOU ARE READING
The Boy Who Simped (h.j.p.x reader social media au)
FanfictionA social media fic for Harry. That's it. Also ik my title is very creative and smart and genius and yeah😌 The story will include swearing so read at your own risk NO SMUT YOU HORNY FUCKERS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE 🫵😐 Also includes my fucked up sense...
