It All Started With The Butterflies

Chapter 54

Chapter 54: Darkness

"What happened?" Caspian asked, holding me in his arms. He had picked me up from outside my house and drove to an empty parking lot. The light of the stars was the only thing illuminating his face; other than that we were in darkness, which seemed fitting since it matched my sombre mood.

"I left," I breathed into his shoulder, while he smoothed my hair down. "Can I stay with you?" We were sitting in the backseat of his car, because it was easier for him to embrace me, rather than both of us squashing into the driver's seat.
"Of course," he replied, without hesitation. "All the Stingers know we're dating anyway."

"Thank you." The tears streamed down.

"Is it my fault?" he asked, stroking my hair.

I shook my head, knowing exactly what he meant. Did I fight with my parents, because of my love for him? Although that was part of the argument, the bigger picture was far more sinister. I had accused my parents of not loving my brother and planted a doubt about my mother in my father's head.

"Everything's such a mess." I dried my tears with my sleeve. "This is the kind of thing that happens in movies. Teenager looking for her brother's murderer, while dealing with major parent problems."

"Don't forget the gangster boyfriend who's helping her," Caspian added.

"And that," I agreed.

"Someone's going to make a movie about us," Caspian laughed, and despite the way I felt I laughed as well. "It's getting late," Caspian observed.

"Yeah." I removed my head from his chest, so that he could drive us out of there.

I rested my head on the cool leather seat and stretched my body across the length of the backseat. I abandoned my shoes and decided to curl my body into a ball. I clutched my knees to my chest and held my body together, to stop it from falling apart. The part of my brain responsible for reasoning had detached itself from the rest of my brain and was now hiding in one corner, so that I couldn't find it and access it. The last thing I wanted was for my whole brain to shut down.

"You ok?" Caspian asked, trying to look at me in the backseat without losing focus on the road.

I nodded and then remembered he couldn't see me. "I'm fine," I whispered.

Caspian didn't reply, but I could tell he didn't believe me. It was clear from the way he pressed harder on the gas pedal, he was eager to hold me again.

"I'm fine," I tried to convince him. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but it turns out I couldn't escape this situation with unconsciousness. I was forced to remain awake and think about how I was going to make peace with my parents. So far, the only idea I had was to go back and beg them to allow me to stay with them. But I knew this was one of the things I would never do; partly because I wanted them to take my words seriously, and partly because I was convinced that they would send me to a shrink for the way I had behaved.

I pushed thoughts of my parents to the back of my head and concentrated on the never-ending darkness that welcomed me as an old friend. I concentrated on that darkness and harnessed it so that it veiled every single thought in my head; in such a way that I could not make sense of what was going on inside me. The only thing I could see was black and that was just the way I liked it.

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