𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕥 مساوات [Completed]

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

(Some dialogues are in urdu. I have given the translation in brackets.)

"How are you Khalid?" He was standing in the living room when I entered the mansion after nearly four months. I stayed here for a month after that accident, but when those nightmares began to empower my thoughts, I left, although Gulabo and Khalid wanted me to stay. But for how many days? It wasn't my house.

"I am fine. You remembered us?" Although his tone was smooth, I could clearly detect the taunt underneath.

"Yeah!" I replied embarrassingly looking away. In the month I stayed here, he became my friend more like a brother. "Umm...I wanted to see his room for once, if you don't mind."

He looked at me for a second, as if he wanted to know what was going inside my head or my purpose behind my actions. But I looked away from his eyes.

"Sure." He nodded his head and gestured towards the stairs.

My heartbeat increased at each step I took towards his room, my vision blurred as I closed my eyes for a second to hold back myself and pushed open his room.

It was for the first time I stepped in his room. His fragrance engulfed me like he had been here always. It appeared like no one touched his things since he left. I traced his study table with my fingers and an unknown feeling developed in my heart thinking that he might have touched it the morning we left together never to return again!

It was all my fault! I shouldn't have followed him that day. I shouldn't have asked him to take me to my house that day! I shouldn't have...I broke into sobs while I clutched my hairs in fists and my body itself dragged down as my legs gave away.

I cried! I cried as much as I could! I cried for him! I cried for myself! I cried for my fate! Everything!

Why did he even meet me if he had to leave later? Why the hell did he even care for me when no one else did?

I got up and again started looking at his books, shelves, laptop…

Sitting on the bed I traced his pillow's soft material. He must have slept on this just a night before!

I didn't myself know why the hell was I even getting so emotional?

Standing up, I was about to switch off the lights when my gaze fell on the diary. His diary!

I quickly opened it to find something, anything that would tell me more about him!

But a dejected sigh left my lips when there were only a few pages written. Seems like he tried very hard to write a diary but couldn't.

Dear Diary,
I don't know why I am even writing here. I can't even believe that I am even writing a diary. What an irony! Um...so I am Safdar Hamdani.

I laughed at his awkward writing while a tear slipped from my eye and fell on the diary.

First of all, I am writing this because my feelings are overwhelming my heart and I couldn't hold it back anymore. And having no one to talk to or share your feelings with, it gets hard...very hard!

I couldn't help a sob that escaped my lips unconsciously.

Well...only until I get someone of my own. Precisely my wife! My heart puffs out of pride thinking about her. Wherever she is. Whoever she is. I love her already. Cause she is written for me by my Allah, and how can it be wrong for me. But I have a tiny little hope for her, to not be like me. Who is carefree, ambitious, loved. But if she has to be my wife, she should know how to play with guns! She should know self defence. And she should know how to love Allah. These are the only two things I want in her, I will teach her everything else!