Dive In

Chapter 42

•Nolani•

Being upset with the one person you find comfort from is hard to wrap your head around. I bask in the embrace of Giovanni's arms the entire ride back to his house, thankful I'm not dead and Rome is okay but also on the verge of sobbing over Angelo. In those moments he's a safe haven sheltering me from the horrific world outside of the SUV, comforting me in ways only he can do, but as soon as Riot parks in the driveway at Giovanni's house reality sets in. I'm reminded how I asked him multiple times what he did last night and he avoided answering truthfully each time. You don't keep things from people for no reason, especially the person you supposedly want to marry.

He must notice me mentally pulling away before we enter the house.

"I'll stay at Rafael's tonight, you can text me tomorrow when you want to see Matteo." He says, his voice low.

I give him a nod in reply, unable to meet his eyes as we enter the house. Guilt feeling as if it may consume me for causing what I did. I'm trying my best to bury it though, trying to focus on seeing my baby after thinking I may never see him again.

Nico's on the couch with Alessia beside him, Rome nestled in her arms asleep. Jamie's in the kitchen and I have the sudden realization I'll never see Angelo in this room again. Alessia hands me Rome and I lay him on my chest and bury my face in the crook of his neck and cry. I should've stayed here, I shouldn't have asked him to get me away from Giovanni's. I knew better and I did it anyway. How could I be so stupid and selfish and now because of me he's gone. I'll never talk to him again.

"Hey bellissima, it's okay." Nico murmurs, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest, being mindful of Rome in my arms.

"No, I'm the reason he's dead. It's my fault, I asked him to help me." I cry.

"And he said yes." He insists. "You didn't force him into anything. Do you think he would want you to beat yourself up over this?"

"No." I mutter.

But I'm still going to because no matter what the guilt is there and it's gonna stay there, just like the guilt I feel sometimes for not missing my mom, for being grateful she's gone. I pull back and Nico wipes my face off, giving me a charming smile as I take a seat on the couch. I don't even bother trying to muster a smile in return. I press a kiss against Romes cheek so thankful they didn't hurt my baby. Their original plan was to take him, I'm not sure what changed their minds but I'm thankful for it.

The motion detector goes off in the quiet room just before Leo rushes inside the house carrying a bag. His eyes are wide as they land on me and he runs over. I had completely forgot about the throbbing pain in my head, I had blocked it out much too focused on Rome and Angelo.

I offer Rome to Giovanni and he arches an eyebrow at me in question. "Since you won't be here tonight." I mumble feeling Alessia's gaze on me.

He nods and takes his son, pressing a kiss against the same spot I had as he takes a seat in the chair.

Leo opens a medical kit on the coffee table. "How's the pain?"

"What pain?" I ask numbly.

He looks over at Giovanni and then begins cleaning the wound on my head. I don't feel the sting of the antiseptic or when he numbs the area before stitching me up. I feel empty and cold, guilty and sad, but no pain.

"It should heal fine with only a small scar." Leo says and I nod silently.

I don't care about a scar, I deserve worse.

"She also has cuts on her hands." Giovanni states.

I glance down at my hands and hold them palm up, seeing the scratches and a few small pieces of glass still embedded there. Leo quickly takes care of my hands and then puts his tools away.