Chapter 15

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I waited for him to retract his words... but he didn’t. Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang paglayo niya, siguro ay binibigyan ako ng oras para ma-proseso ang mga sinabi niya. I couldn’t look at him... kahit pa alam kong mabigat ang tingin na iginagawad niya ngayon sa akin.

His hands remained on my sides, and his upper body continued to lean towards me. I could hear his unsteady breathing.

“I-I-In love?” I echoed his words, but my voice was trembling. “Baka... ano... nagugulat ka lang, Kobe. Y-You don’t know me. Magagalit ang mga fans mo... ang management...” Umiling ako. “H-Hindi mo dapat sinasabi ang isang bagay na hindi mo naman talaga nararamdaman.”

“Do I look like I’m playing around?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Inalis niya ang kamay sa gilid ko at doon lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag. I looked at him as he stared at nothingness. His forehead was creased and his jaw was clenched.

I felt like everything was just a dream and that any time soon, Mill would tap my shoulders to wake me up.

“Kobe...” I called. “Don’t go there. B-Bawal, ‘di ba? Kahit sa kontrata mo, alam mong hindi p’wede.”

I was hurt by my own words... but I was doing this for him. Ayokong marumihan ang reputasyon at pangalan niya. Being with me would only cause him endless escapes and malicious rumors.

“When I felt this, do you think I didn’t weigh the consequences?” banayad na tanong niya. “I don’t want you to get dragged into this. I know how it feels to put your life on display for others to judge... and I don’t want you to be in that position.”

Tumahimik lang ako. Suddenly, this place became too tight for us. Para akong kakapusin sa paghinga. I didn’t want him to be serious, but at the back of my head, I was wishing he was.

His eyes darted at me. “But I don’t want you to stay away from me either... at mas matindi ang kagustuhan kong ‘yon.”

My lips trembled as my chest tightened.

“M-Magagalit sila sa ‘yo...” Yumuko ako at paulit-ulit na umiling. “Y-You can’t like me, Kobe. At... hindi rin kita p’wedeng magustuhan.” Dahil ang mga katulad mo, dapat tinatanaw lang. “Kapag nalaman nila, masisira ka.”

I stepped back when he neared me. Naramdaman niya iyon kaya tumigil din siya. I heard his heavy breathing, as if he was trying his best to control his emotions.

“I’m allowed to like Jennifer, pero kapag ikaw, bawal?” matigas na tanong niya.

“Alam mo naman kung bakit, eh...” Lumiit ang boses ko, lalong kinabahan.

“No, I don’t.”

I gulped before lifting my head. Our eyes met. Napansin ko ang pagpungay ng kanya habang nakatingin sa akin. Na kahit na may galit sa tinig niya, maamo naman ang mga mata niya.

I wanted to voice numerous reasons why he couldn’t like me. I wanted to tell him that the people around him would disapprove of us. I wanted to point out that he might lose his fans just by liking me.

Napakaraming rason kung bakit hindi kami puwede. We live in two different worlds... too different worlds. Sa sobrang iba at layo, ni hindi posible ang magtagpo kami sa gitna.

“Hindi tayo bagay.” Parang inihalik ko lang sa hangin ang mga salitang iyon. Masakit sabihin... pero iyon ang totoo. “Mula sa pamilya, sa kinalakihan, sa mga napatunayan... sa lahat.” Umiling ako sa kanya. “Ibang-iba, Kobe.”

His expression hardened. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa hindi niya nagugustuhan ang sinasabi ko o dahil napagtatanto na niyang tama ako.

I held his gaze and hoped he could see my sincerity.

In the Midst of the Crowd (Loser #1)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon