𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐲- 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩

||His Purchased Bride by AbhishekMalhan_Mixed||

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I am brutally honest here, and both criticism and appreciation is given depending on the work.

Hope you like it and try to follow what I suggested.

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I am really sorry for the delay.

His Purchased Bride by AbhishekMalhan_Mixed 

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Cover- 6/10

Originality- 8/10

Character development- 7/10

Title- 5/5

Grammar and language- 15/20

Ability to keep readers hooked- 12/ 15

Plot- 18/20

Blurb- 6/10

Total= 77/100

Cover- It is beautiful and matches the main characters of the story and gives off a foreboding feel, but the font of the title makes it prominent but is not appealing at all. It failed to attract me, and the fact I loved the title 'His Purchased Bride' disappoints me more. Maybe you could change the font and colour of the title to match the theme and mood of the rest of the cover and the story at general. Then it would be aesthetic!

Title- I said it in the cover itself- I love the title. His Purchased Bride is a title that attracts a reader to the story. The title in itself gives out the mood of the story and draws the reader towards it. Keep it up! I love it.

Plot- It is a beautiful plot, but I think I read a similar book last year here. The plot is well defined and precise which is why I rated it 18/20. Maybe you could make some changes to it so that your book stands out. The basic idea is currently a trend on wattpad, so I would say, give a good irony to the book. You have just started it so I can't say much, but till now- I love it.

Blurb- Nice and made me want to read the story. But you wrote r@ped instead of raped. It is ok, you can just put a warning like *offensive language* or *uncensored words*. This is really not much of a problem because, you might not be comfortable, so I did not deduct points for it. Everyone has their own comfort zone. The main problem is, there are no quotes, and it is just too direct. You directly gave away the plot in the blurb itself instead of suspense.

Character development- I can't say much here because the story has just been started, but I love the way every character till now has been added in a beautiful and unique situation. And they have conflicting thoughts, shows they are human too just adds to the glory.

Grammar- Let us get into this-

-You use too many full stops after nearly every sentence.

You are too direct-

One example of how direct you are from Chapter 2-

Akshit came back from work

Abhishek wasn't around yet

Akshit went to aanchal's room.

This is extremely direct and leaves no space for readers to imagine anything.

You could have written it like- Akshit returned to the most comfortable place for anyone to return to- his home, after a tiring day at work. Looking around he noticed Abhishek was not around, aroused by curiosity he visited Aanchal's room.

It sounds way better like this.

- You don't write in paragraphs much, you literally take a new line for every sentence, it is immature and unappealing.

Writing style- I already pointed it out, write in paragraphs and your vocabulary is very direct, you could use better words to make the story sound better. I would suggest you edit it and use more descriptive writing, instead of using too many pictures. This is one more issue, you use too many pictures. A good piece of writing is when you don't need pictures to describe a situation, place or absolutely anything. You describe it so well, that the reader can imagine it in their minds.

Extras- Please don't show pictures of the outfit they are wearing, that is absolutely unnecessary. You are basically leaving no space for readers to imagine. There is a reason most of the popular books on wattpad don't give a face claim for characters. It leaves space for readers to imagine. This is something, I realized very late while writing my book- Ephemera, and that is precise reason why I changed the cover, I did not want any face claims on it. I did not change the first chapter, that is characters because I could not find any good graphic editors to make me good aesthetics. People use aesthetics for a reason- it shows the basic character sketch of the character but leaves space for reader's imagination.

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Please leave a feedback on the review.

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