Wormers' Reviews & Editing Shop

▍❯Thicker than Water

Author- Flower_peacesign

Reviewer- blackfluteoflove

Book : Thicker than Water

Cover:3.5 /5

Title: 3/5

Summary: 2.5/5

Grammar/ Vocabulary: 7/15

Use of literary techniques: 5/10

Character Development: 8/15

Story acr: 9/15

Writing Style: 5/10

Plot + Originality:  6/10

General Satisfaction: 5.5/10

Total Score: 54.5/100

Review note:

I liked the title of the book. I loved Ereni and reading her thoughts was the best part of this book. The character felt too pure and I think it’s the strongest asset of this character. This character has so much potential. All the abilities like teleporting and other stuff, that the author gave this character make it an intriguing read. Also, the small moments you created in the beginning- the wedding, the head massage (You got me there!), and eating the ice cream at the end. Those were the best parts for which I would love to re-read this book.

Coming to the things which, I think, could be worked upon to make this book a better read. In my opinion, the summary doesn't give much about the story. A summary should be written in a way that would trick the reader into reading the book. This summary might not do so. Also, it needs to be punctuated correctly.

Jumping to the story, I believe that two things need to be taken care of. First, the pace needs to slow down. Things were hurried. It was difficult to follow. Before one could get a sense of what's happening, the scene was already over. Also, there were instances where the action felt incomplete. For instance, In Ch 9, the main character was talking with a child and suddenly they all were in the car heading back to their place. That was sudden and confusing. Moreover, the ending felt sudden too. It needs to be stretched a little to better explain the ongoing action. 

Additionally, emotions need to be built upon as well. The readers connect with the story through the character’s emotions. When these emotions are not given the proper attention that they deserve, then it affects the quality of the story. The readers are aware of the main character’s emotions and concerns but it doesn’t give them time to establish a connection as things are moving at a lightning speed.

The second thing which needs to be taken care of is that the book needs to be edited thoroughly. No matter how good the plot and/or characters are, grammatical errors push the readers away.

There were a lot of errors including minute errors, like punctuation and spelling errors, to some seriously confusing errors, like two different subjects in the same sentence, the narrative shift from 1st person to 3rd person where it was intended to be in the first person, and the omission of the main verbs from the sentence.

I would suggest breaking down the sentences. It would bring much more clarity and would make it easily comprehensible for the reader.

Before concluding, I would like to say that these are my honest views and I mean no disrespect and I do not want to hurt the author’s feelings. I apologize if my words appear harsh. I have been there, and honestly, I still am, so I know the guts it takes to pen down a book. And I would like to take this minute to commend the author on their achievement. You (the author) finished what you started. Crossing the end line is matters, not running at full speed in the beginning and then dropping out of the race. So please pat yourself on your back. You did great. Now it’s time to do the best. If you like, you can take the help of the BookWorm Community’s editors. They would be glad to help.

At last, Cheers to the author Flower_peacesign for penning down this wonderful story.

Good luck! Keep writing! 

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