maple syrup | remus lupin [1]

153. if dreams could come true

AT FIRST, CLAUDIA CONSIDERED just ripping off the bandaid. She considered just leaving Remus before even more time passed. But then, she realised that he was always going to be as in love with her as he was, and that she was always going to be as in love with him as she was. So, doing it as soon as possible wouldn't make it hurt less.

Then, Claudia considered telling him the truth about the threat. This seemed, at first, like the best idea of them all - because if he knew maybe they could keep their relationship hidden.

But then, she realised that that would be selfish of her. Forcing him to hide with her, that was. Never being able to have an actual future with marriage and kids, because she would already be married to someone else.

And there was also the simple little fact that Evan's words wouldn't leave her mind. He told her that she wasn't good enough for him. That she was never going to be enough.

That she couldn't give him what he deserved.

And, honestly, the more Claudia thought about it, the more she believed it to be true. He was, after all, constantly forced to put up with her mess of a life. He always had to hold her when she cried, and he always had to worry.

And, well, she rarely ever held him as he cried as much as he did to her.

So, she came to the conclusion that maybe leaving Remus would be good for him. Maybe he would finally be free of her, and maybe he would be the version of happy she believed he wasn't with her.

Yet, Claudia ignored the voice in her head that told her that Remus would never be able to get over her. And the voice that told her that she would never be able to get over him.

The voice that told the truth.

Claudia had decided to be selfish for a little while. She decided to love him with everything she had in her for the little time she had left, and she decided not to worry him.

So, she ignored it, and hoped that summer was far away.

Yet, after returning to Hogwarts after a wonderful Easter spent at Lupin cottage after the horrible lunch at Maple manor, time seemed to pass quicker than ever before, and they were heading into the last two busy months of their Hogwarts careers.

They had N.E.W.T.s left to complete, quidditch matches to take part in and loads of seventh year activities to have fun with.

After a day filled with classes and studying, Claudia was in the Gryffindor common room with most of her friends.

She was sitting in an armchair, cuddled up with Remus as they read a book together in silence. It worked so that they would read, and then Claudia would feel Remus' eyes on her which would cause her to nod so that he could turn the page. This was something they did often, and it was, in all honesty, one of Claudia's favourite things to do with him.