🌠Closer to my Heart

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/6/

BOOK TITLE: CLOSER TO MY HEART


AUTHOR: TC_Liyanage


GENRE: Teen Fiction


REVIEWER: Lilly


/SCORE POINT/


•Cover: 8/10


•Blurb: 6/10


•Writing Style & Presentation: 16/20


•Character & Dialogue Development: 17/20


•Plot Originality & Development: 16/20


•Grammar & Punctuation: 17/20

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TOTAL POINT: 80/100




/REVIEW/


The cover is simple but inviting enough. For lovers of romance, this cover has it all. It sells your genre perfectly.

Moving from the promising cover to the blurb, I get the feeling this story will have a lot of heart break and pain, which is also a good point to sell. But, I feel your excerpt over shadows the actual description of your story and we have quite a few tense mixes in it too. I know it's normal to have these mixes here and there, but take extra caution with your blurb because this is what people use to weigh how good the grammar in the book itself will be. I usually do not advice on using these dialogue excerpts because they require a lot of skill to pull off correctly but it is your story and your decision, if you must use it, you will need to properly present it, in the right tense and space.


The writing style and presentation is on the average but growth is evident as the story progresses and that's a wonderful thing that every writer should imbibe. The first two to three chapters are writing in a different way that isn't really appealing but as I read further, I noticed how the author made positive progress. So I will just advice you edit your first three chapters and bring up to the same level as the other chapters so you can get to keep all your readers.


The characters are very unique. My favorite is probably Anastasia, she is my kind of person, always happy. Their conversations were also smooth. My only issue was the way you introduced them into the story. I felt like you were just bringing them in without a back story; like Rose, I don't know if she has a back story later on but as at chapter five, I couldn't find any; yet she got a very dramatic introduction. Same goes for Ray's twin sister, I think you should have mentioned her in the introductory chapter or save her introduction till a very dramatic moment in the story -if you chose this, you need to input clues of her existence earlier.


Grammar and punctuation also picked up a positive look as the story developed. I will just advice that you watch your tenses and some spellings, maybe you could use a spell check app or get a beta reader to help straighten out some parts.


Also, in chapter one where Ray is having a nightmare/flashback, she sees a girl running and she calls them 'Michael' that part sort of confused me. But I guess it gets explained further in the story.


The plot focuses on Rachael who is attracted to Steffen. So far, all I got was her family introduction at chapter one. Chapter two did almost the same and it went on and on till I had to stop. I think the only thing making the book interesting at this point are your characters: for me it is Zayn and Ana; but the plot development itself and chapter focus, there is nothing. It's like a reading a diary where the same thing happens over and over. I will suggest you add dramatic bits in each chapters, put cliff hangers, put in all you've got in each chapter to keep your readers going.

A writer friend of mine once said, 'that twist you are keeping for chapter twenty-five, pour it into chapter two and let your story tell itself' I can assure you that by the time you get to chapter twenty-five you would have thought of a better twist to add. The blurb promised readers a rollercoaster of emotions that turns bitter at the end, they will come into your story wanting to see just that, so give it to them; do not keep them waiting for too long.


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