Dive In

Chapter 45

•Nolani•

It's been a week without Angelo but it feels like longer. We had a funeral for him. Toni tracked his Mom down and gave her the news and the details of when and where his funeral would be. Her and his sister attended but neither would look me in the eye, they knew it was my fault. I still have so many questions about him but I held them in, it wasn't the right time.

My new guards are silent and keep their gaze averted even when I'm speaking to them. They're like stone walls, it only makes me miss Angelo more. I don't ever see me getting close to them like I was to him, although now I guess us being siblings may have had a little to do with that on his part.

I've been thinking about what to do with the information that my mom is alive but I still haven't figured it out. I want to go to her mansion in Versailles, knock on her door and tell her husband who I am. I want to look her in the eye and thank her for abandoning me because if not for it I fear what my life would've become. I want to ask her daughter if she treats her nice just to be sure she isn't being disciplined the way I was. I also want to keep living life like my Mom doesn't exist, continue pretending that she's dead so she doesn't get the satisfaction of knowing her actions hurt me. I hate that she still has a hold on my emotions even after all these years.

Tonight is the premiere of Last Night, the movie I had a minor role in when I first found out I was pregnant. That feels like an eternity ago. I originally was excited to be arm candy for the leading male actor Brady Rhodes but  now I'd much rather stay home with Rome. Giovanni is attending the premiere with me, we're flying out to Hollywood in his jet in forty minutes. The trip will only take around five hours so Alessia is going to stay with Rome and Riot and Marcello are going to sit with her.

I exit my bedroom, if you could even call it that anymore, wheeling my suitcase behind me. Although I still haven't forgiven Giovanni I couldn't help but crawl into his bed at night instead of my own. Most of the time he doesn't get home until I'm already asleep since he's upped his efforts to an exhausting high to find Mikhail but just being in his bed, surrounded by his scent, it helps me sleep.

When I enter the living room Alessia and Giovanni are on the couch, Rome propped up in Giovanni's arms staring up at him with wide eyes. Giovanni's talking to him in Italian and the sight makes me wanna smile. Jamie and Marcello are in the kitchen sitting silently, scrolling on their phones.

"I can only hope my future husband is as good at fashion as my brother." Alessia says with a wistful sigh, patting the box on the coffee table that holds my dress.

Just like the other events we've attended together Giovanni picked a dress for me but this time he told me I couldn't look at it until I need to get dressed which I'll do on the jet.

Something odd flickers in Giovanni's eyes but it disappears so fast I'm not sure I've read it correctly. Guilt? But what would he have to be guilty for? My eyes flick over to Alessia and I think about what she said and my gaze bounces right back to Giovanni. He's found her a husband hasn't he?

The motion detector goes off and Riot enters the house muttering to himself while running a hand through his hair, looking more disheveled than I've ever seen him. Since I killed Matteo Riots acted different. He doesn't insult me as often, not that he's complimenting me either but it's a decent change.

"Are you okay?" Alessia asks him as he takes a seat in the chair.

"Never been better." He mumbles in a flat voice and she frowns but drops it.

Giovanni rises from the couch with Rome in his hands as he approaches me and I realize he's already dressed in his tux. Seeing him carrying our son while dressed like that has my heart melting in my chest. He looks amazing in a suit but he looks absolutely gorgeous in a tux. An image pops up inside my head of him dressed in a tux, waiting at the end of an aisle as I walk toward him surrounded by his family and my pulse skyrockets.