lil-lewd drunk daddy

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(a/n: umm... chirren go away-)

Me:
Mm mm
Yeah

Jeongin:
Are you singing?

Jisung:
No he's moaning

Me:
Mmmmmm

Jisung:
BRO I WAS KIDDING 😳

Felix:
Ayo why is Channie moaning-

Hyunjin:
I think he's texting us while sooxing

Seungmin:
EW WHY WOULD HE DO THAT
YOU DISGUST ME

Minho:
Ngl but I've already expected everything unexpected
Nothing surprises me anymore

Me:
FUCK YESSDSDSS

Minho:
CHAN WHAT THE FUCK

Jeongin:
So much for expecting everything

Me:
Heyyyyuyyyuyy

Changbin:
Are you drunk?

Me:
Whatss dat
AHHJH YEASSSSSSSDSS

Seungmin:
And there goes the sanity of the only sane person in this group
Except for me, ofc

Minho:
You didn't count me in?
I'm never hurt, but today I am

Seungmin:
Brother you're dating Jisung
Your sanity is probably flushed down the toilet rn

Jisung:
So you're calling his sanity shit?

Hyunjin:
HEY SUNGMIN
YOURE LYING
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM

Seungmin:
*Seungmin

Me:
Babygirlllllkdllddl hehheehejehe

Felix:
I have a lot of experience in dealing with drunk people
And from that experience, I can say
I think he needs to be exorcised

Changbin:
No felix
Please
We don't want demonic noises in 3RACHA's mixtapes

Jisung:
OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLD UP
NO I DON'T WANT TO DIE BUT IMAGINE
JUST IMAGINE
I M A G I N E
IF WE PUT MOANS IN OUR MIXTAPE-

Jeongin:
I'm cancelling Han Jisung

Hyunjin:
#DoNotCancelUriWinkingCowBoy
Juseyo chinguya

Jeongin:
Ew kboo

Changbin:
Bro he's Korean-
Ykw? Nvm
Continue.

Me:
Wjy r u so fuxcking hoytttttt

Felix:
Wow wtf
Who is he fantasizing about lmao

Hyunjin:
Me
Bec I'm hoytttttt

Jeongin:
He cannot breathe without you being right by his side
He'll die

Jisung:
Ayo that sounds like a song Chan would make

Me:
SSEXCY BABUYY

Minho:
IM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RN CHAN

Hyunjin:
Says who?

Minho:
HAN JISUNG'S BOYFRIEND

Jisung:
HEY HEY!!
IM NOT AS LEWD!!

Hyunjin:
*Pens down the new word*

Felix:
What does lewd mean?

Hyunjin:
Probably "sexy"

Felix:
Oh okie :D

Seungmin:
.......

Me:
O wanna fuvk uuuuuyuuu

Jeongin:
DOLPHIN SCREAMING RN

Minho:
SOMEBODY PUT CHAN TO SLEEP

Hyunjin:
HE'S PROBABLY SLEEPING W SOMEONE RN

Felix:
AHHHHHH WHY IS CHAN BEING SO LIL-LEWD BUT SHAMELESS

Seungmin:
OHMYGOD LEWD MEANS SHAMELESS IN A DIRTY WAY ISTG MY MIND WILL COLLAPSE

Me:
AHHHJSJJJDH BABUYYYYUYY

Changbin:
CHAN IS MOANING IN THE GROUP IS THE WORLD COMING TOWARDS THE END

Me:
BABYGIRLLLJSJSL

Minho:
OHMYGOD HE HAS A BABYGIRL DADDY KINK OHMYGOD WHAT THE FUCK

Hyunjin:
I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT WHAT WILL I DO W MY LIFE NOW ALL MY DREAMS HAVE CRASHED RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES BEC IM WEIRDED OUT RN

Jisung:
YAH DON'T YOU DARE KINK SHAME ANYONE!!!

Jeongin:
WHAT'S A KINK
IT IS THE LITTLE GAP IN THE GRAPH SHEETS IN MATH

Changbin:
YES IT IS EXACTLY THAT AND WE DON'T SHAME KINKS BEC THEN MATH WILL CURSE US

Felix:
YEAH LIKE EXPELLIARMUS!!!!

Me:
AHH AHJH AHHHJHJH
YOU GEEL SO GOOS

Felix:
EXPELLIARMUS!
EXPELLIARMUS!

Seungmin:
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO DISARM FELIX

Changbin:
WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING

Me:
I'm gonba

Minho:
What's a gonba 😭😭

Me:
Babugrul
Seen

---

Next day

Me:
.......
Fuck.

Felix:
Welcome back, babugrul

Me:
I'M SORRY AHHHHHHSJSHSKSKSK

Minho:
Who were you railing, gonba?

Hyunjin:
HE HAS A DADDY KINK OMFG-

Me:
NO I WAS JUST DRUNK

Seungmin:
Who were you even fantasizing about omg

Me:
IDK WHY I WROTE THAT STUFF ISTG I JUST HAD SOME SOJU

Changbin:
I'm so disappointed in you, Bang Christopher Chan.

Me:
IM SORRYYYYYNDHSKSJZJS

Jeongin:
Ayo why was this hyung?
"YOU GEEL SO GOOS"
Why would you gel a goose?

Me:
bYE-

(a/n: this chapter was just chaos omfg why did I write this-

IM SORRY CHAN, I'M SO, SO SORRY-

I hope no skz member is secretly reading this, I'd literally die-

LIKE IMAGINE WATCHING A CHAN'S ROOM EP AND HE GOES LIKE, "Some stays think I shouldn't drink soju"

Meanwhile me: *crying in destruction*

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