Chapter nineteen

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This chapter, I have to say, is the sweetest, most emotional thing I have written in awhile. 

I liked it alot! 

Anyways, here it is, and I know it has been way to long!

Enjoy ~

NickyMb <3 

PS: I have a new story on my profile so if you get a chance, check it out! 


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“What on earth are you doing?” I look over my shoulder, startled, as Kayla leans against our dorm door, her arms folded lightly over her chest. I quickly avert my eyes to the mascara in my hand and try to think of a quick excuse.

“I was just trying it out,” I say, capping the top and throwing it back on her dresser.It skitters to the edge, hiddin by all the other material things covering the surface.

“You know, college things. My professor was just talking about how make-up today wasn’t like it was and-” I pop my mouth shut when I see the slow, tight lipped smile starting to spread on her face.

Obviously my lying wasn’t as good as hers.

Sighing, I set on the edge of my bed and scrub my hand over my face. I knew the whole idea of going on another blind date for Mia was a bad idea. What made it worse, or better, depending on my my mood, was Julio.

I have no idea why she couldn’t of just confronted Aiden herself about the money. Plus, what did she expect I was going to gain? Why would Julio decide to share a secret with me of all people? And, on top of everything, was I putting on mascara?

You see?

The stress was getting to me.

I feel the bed dip next to me and I know it’s Kayla without even bothering to look up. I hear her bring in a deep sigh.

“Kelsey...” She starts, her parent voice in gear. I knew what she was going to say and to be honest, I wasn’t in the mood to hear it. I knew I looked ridiculous and I didn’t need my sister to point out my flaws.

I have been down this road way too many times.

“Forget it,” I say, jerking up from my bed. I grab my jacket from the floor and start to put my hands through the sleeves, avoiding Kayla’s gaze.

I told myself earlier I wouldn’t bother with my growing feelings for Julio and when I see Nicks red beanie on the floor, the one he gave me a while ago, It brings me back to that moment in the library.

Nick was the kind of guy I should end up with and when I bend over and pick it up, running my thumbs over the stitch work, I realize that was where my path was heading.

Bringing the beanie to my head, I start to loop my hair over my shoulder when Kayla finally catches my attention again.

“Are you stupid?!” She shouts suddenly, walking over and grabbing my arm. I jerk my arm away from her grip and meet her hard eyes.

“You are going to wear something another guy gave you when meeting another one? My god Kelsey, when are you going to realize that falling for someone isn’t a bad thing?!”

Pissed, I take a step back and look at her a little flabbergasted. “How can you say that? You have seen what’s happened to me in the past. I can’t ... I just can’t deal with that shit Kayla!”

I feel angry tears sting my eyes and I try to bring the more rational side of me back. Maybe she was right. It was a petty and stupid thing to wear the beanie, but it was the only thing I knew to do.

Kayla shakes her head, her hair catching on her cheek.

“That’s because every guy you had was a fucking douche bag! When are you going to realize the only reason I haven’t been pestering you to go on another blind date is because you have a good guy right in front of you?!”

I laugh, but it was hollow and nothing close to humorous. “ Right, he’s just so damn perfect huh? He’s exactly the kind of guy I needed to stay away from.”

Julio was what I called a Bad Habit. Something you could get addicted too. Something that would infect your blood and fill your mind with senseless ecstasy. But, like any Habit, he felt good. The kind of good that makes addicts wanting more. Made me wanting more.

I just couldn’t have that.

Getting aggravated from the whole conversation, I swipe my dorm key off my dresser and head toward the door. “I’m sorry I’m not like you Kayla. I can’t just bring any guy home I want and have fun with him.”

Before I can even hear what she has to say back, I shut the door behind me and wait for it to click before leaning against it. I bring my hands to my face and close my eyes.

I knew I shouldn’t have said that to her, but I was just so pissed from the whole ordeal to even think straight. I should be mature about the whole thing. Go up and tell Julio how I feel. But, in the end, my mind wins the battle for my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I wipe away all those illogical and replace them with my backbone. I wasn’t going to think about Julio or anything else.

All he ever was going to be was a friend and I had to admit that to myself before things turned even worse.

I chanted that the whole way to my car.

Wishing I could believe it the whole way.


“Pick a card. Any card.”

I lean on my hand, turning my head to the side, as I watch my one and only date smile widely and lean forward.

He has a deck of cards fanned out in his hands and when he asks me to choose any card, he winks at me.

Well, more like one eye shuts fast while the other one twitches.

If the guy wasn’t so serious, I might have laughed. I bring my left hand up and for the fifth time tonight, and choose a damn card. Pulling out the Ace of spades, I bring it to my chest and hide it from view.

The first time we did this, I thought it was kind of cute. He guessed my card and I was so impressed I even gave him a small smile. But, when the guy decided that tricks and magic was a way to the girls heart, it kind of became a dead routine.

While he thumbs his way through his cards, I think back to the earlier conversation with Kelsey. What did she know anyways? Julio was irrational, spontaneous, dangerous, and everything a bad boy should be.

He wore trouble like cologne and smiled these smiles that could make any girl combust.

I didn’t know much about him. Actually, I barely knew close to nothing. All I knew was his touch ignited something in me that would bring me to the deepest pits of hell.

A side I have been too way too many times.

I realize that while I was here for Mia, I could work the whole thing to my benefit. I could use this whole meeting Julio thing to my advantage. I can clearly tell him my boundaries and try to start on building a friendship.

A smile starts to grow on my face and when I look up and see a smile on my blind dates face, I realize he must think I’m smiling at him. Squashing the smile before it gave him the wrong idea, I grab for my glass.

“The Ace of Spades!” My date shouts, making me almost choke on my water. At that moment I catch onto the fact that I still had the card to my chest and I quickly plaster a smile on my face.

“Right ... again.” I say, trying to keep my composure together. I was just starting to wonder where Mia found the guy, when she herself waltzes through the door, Aiden by her side.

She’s laughing over something he says and when she look forward, she scans the restaurant. When her eyes meet mine, she gives me a quick wink before taking a seat close to me.

As if they were on their own accord, I look back over at the restaurant's entrance and see dark and dangerous himself enter.

He has his hand on the door, slightly open, a cigarette hanging from him mouth. He lazily takes the stick out of his mouth, blows smoke toward the air, before throwing it on the ground and putting it out with the heel of his shoe.

Someone sitting by the door gives him a disgusted look, their eyes training on his many tattoos and messy hair. He must notice them too because he flashes them a big smile before stopping and scanning the area for his two companions.

Not wanting him to see me, I sink lower in my seat and tug at the edges of the beanie lower on my head. Thinking of what Kayla said about bringing it, I debate taking it off. But, when I realize it was the perfect symbol that Julio and I were just going to be friends, I leave it on.

My date stares at his cards, Mia stares at Aiden, I stare at Julio and Julio ... is staring straight at me.

Oh, just perfect.

Cursing under my breath, I straighten out in my seat and bring my hands out in an awkward wave. I didn’t expect him to wave back. Instead, he just stands there while his right eyebrow slightly goes up.

His eyes score my body, drinking in every inch of the upper part, until they land on the beanie. When they do, I see his lips go into a straight line and his jaw lock a little.

Well, then.

I see him go to take a step my way, but I shake my head. I needed to collect myself before he came toward me and when he stops in his tracks, I see his hand turn into a fist at his right. He realises it before turning on his heel and making his way to Mia’s table.

He doesn’t look back.

Well, that went great. I should have just let him come over, that way I could have been relieved from the date. Rubbing my hand over my face, the guy tried bring the conversation back to magic. He was clearly oblivious to what just took place.

“Pick a card.”

I was done.

Standing up fast, my seat kicks back and skids across the wood floor. My date seems a little shocked at my sudden outburst and deep down, so do I. I’m not usually like this, but right now my nerves are on a high.

I bring my hands to my stomach and make a little groaning sound. My date goes to stand up, staring at me with a worried expression.

“Are you alright?!” I shake my head, feeling a little guilty for lying. I vowed that if I ever saw him again, I would try to straighten things out.

“I just need some fresh air.” I go to take a step toward the front doors, when my date steps in front of me. It was if God was dishing out karma tonight.

“Need company?!”

“I’m a big girl.” I give him a little smile before I side step him and make my grand exit.

According to what Mia told me in the library, Julio would follow me. I wasn’t counting on it and the moment I stepped out into the chilly night, my thoughts become more clear.

Wrapping my arms around my waist to keep myself warm, I look up at the sky. People thread around me, coming in and out of the restaurant, and I just stand there.

In high school, this girl behind me use to always talk about how the stars held secrets. That if you took a moment to look, the sky could tell you everything you wanted to know.

Sighing, I wonder what she meant. When I look at the stars all I can see is a past I would rather forget. I see wasted wishes and broken dreams.

When I was little I wished on these stars, asking for my father to come back home, but each time they left me when the sun came up.

The stars held no secrets.

They were just an ugly reminder of things I would rather forget about.

“A penny for your thoughts?” His breath tickles my ear, sending goosebumps over my body and I smile, still looking up at the night sky.

MIa was right, he did come.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” I cut my eyes to the right and I watch Julio take a step forward, looking up at the sky beside me. His face shows nothing as he looks at me from the corner of his eyes.

“You. That’s where my thoughts have been going to a lot lately.” I wasn’t ready for the feeling of something warm spreading through my stomach and connecting to my heart. Not commenting on the confession, I tell him the truth.

“I was thinking about my dad,” He turns toward me suddenly and I smile a sad smile his way.

“When I was little, I use to wish every night for him to come back. But, he never did.” I shake my head, turning and facing him. “I was naive back then.”

Julio leans against the restaurant building, his hands in his pockets, his eyes still on me. “I don’t think so.” Before I can say anything, he looks at the ground.

“When I was little, I use to ask my mom for pennys. I would go outside and place them on the sidewalk, heads up, waiting for someone to pick them up. I thought if I gave someone good luck, the universe would give me some back.”

I try not to laugh and when he sees my struggle, he smiles softly.

“You can laugh. It’s silly.” I don’t laugh though. Instead, I walk up and lean against the building with him. His arm touches mine and heat tingles it’s way down my arm.

It scorches my soul.

“Kelsey, look at me.” I feel his soft fingers wrap around my chin before I can even think. He stands in front of me now as he softly lifts my face up toward him.The moments our eyes meet, he talks.

“What are we doing?!” His eyes searched mine for the answer but I don’t have it.

Neither does he.

He sighs and moves his fingers away, leaving my chin cold again. Swallowing the things I want to tell him, I say the one thing that needs to be said.

“I can be your friend Julio.” He freezes at the word friend and I continue. “But I can’t ... I can’t be more.” I look down again, my feet the only thing I can stare at. I swallow the lump in my throat.

I can’t look at him as I say it, afraid I might change my mind.

“I can do that.” I look up fast at his words and I see him run his hands through his hair, making it stick out even more. Again, his face shows nothing. “But, before we make this official, can I just do one thing?”

“What?!”

“This.” Before I can think, he takes a step closer and leans his body  toward mine. His warm breath hits my face and my own stops. He brings his right hand up and before I can even blink, I feel the beanie leave my hair.

I raise an eyebrow and I watch as he take the thing and throws it in the garbage can next to us.

“I hate that fucking thing.” I laugh, sticking my hands in my jacket pockets. I lean my head against the brick wall, knowing why I was here in the first place. But, before I get to the point, I wanted to know a little more about him.

“So why did you do it?” He looks at me confused and I smile.

“The pennys. Why did you put so much effort into it.” He laughs, though it’s not full of passion. He doesn’t say anything as he looks up at the sky again. I watch him and I wonder where this Julio came from.

I was so use to the teasing, angry, crazy Julio.

This was a side I never seen before.

The moment I think that though, I know I am wrong. This Julios has been here this whole time. I just wasn’t looking for it and he wasn’t willing to show me it. I remember the bet we made, the one by the tree, and I smile a little.

He still owed me an A.

Rather he liked it or not.

“My dad.” I jump a little at Julio’s voice, forgetting he was still in front of me. I see him close his eyes.

“You see, Angel, everyone around me thinks they got me figured out. They think I will end up like him, but I’m not a fuck up.” He says passionately, a fierce edge to his voice. “They just don’t see me.”

“I see you.” I say softly and when he jerks around to stare at me, I see something change on his face. “I don’t know who your dad is or why people think you will end up like him, but I don’t see it. You can do good Julio, you just need to stop finding reasons to do good and find it in yourself to be good.”

“When your whole life is nothing but a shadow of another mans reputation, finding good can be hard.”

“Only if you make it hard.” The wind blows and a piece of my hair wraps around my nose. Before I have the chance to move it, I feel Julio’s fingertips skate across my face. I feel him tuck the piece behind my ear, his fingers lingering.

“I hope you know, “ He says, his usual teasing voice back. “You still owe me those dates.” I laugh as he drops his hand.

“I never expected anything less.”

And there we stood, smiling at eachother, and for once I understood Julio. Even if it was just a little piece, I knew something about him he probably didn’t tell many people. And Imeant what I said when I told him I saw him.

And I knew, deep down, he saw me too.

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