Cleo Horan
"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath as soon as I realized I nearly forgot about the lasagna inside the oven, but I rushed towards it just in time before it could burn.
I hadn't cooked anything in long months and it was hard trying to get the hang of it again, especially with the limited ingredients I had at my disposal. And also the little time I had available to prepare this surprise.
Well, I sucked at this... I never had an official boyfriend or girlfriend before and I had never been in love before Harry, so all this dating shit made zero sense to me.
Harry knew that, we had discussed it a lot of times and that's why we never went out together or planned any date or shit like that. We hung out and we talked a lot, watched some movies sometimes... but it was natural to us, it wasn't some scheduled thing.
And tonight wasn't scheduled all the same, Harry was working out on the small gym he had on the second floor and he told me he'd shower after he was done and meet me downstairs. And I refused to join him today because I had this fun idea in hopes of making him smile.
I hadn't seen his smile in two days now.
Two days since he cried the most I had ever seen... after we found out his mother was alive. Yeah, things were a bit intense.
He was spending a lot of time in the gym and I tried my best to work out with him and just be there if he needed to talk... but he didn't. However, every time before we fell asleep he'd hold me so tightly that he nearly suffocated me, but it was all I needed to feel that he knew I was there for him.
I couldn't judge his way of coping, he was doing a much better job than me. He didn't hide that he was heartbroken and he cried... he was angry and
trying to deal with his mess of emotions, meanwhile, I was pretending I could focus on him and ignore my numbness a bit more.
Seeing him cry that much broke me, but it was needed. He managed to let it all out and I could actually see it helped him. It made me wonder if I could do the same and feel better too, but we were in very different situations.
His mother was alive... my brother was dead. We'd both been lied to and used, but he could actually confront his mom. He could ask her why she did what she did, but there was no way I was going to push him into doing anything.
This was something so serious and fucked up that I was willing to wait as long as Harry needed. I was putting aside all my curiosities and personal priorities, and for once all we had to worry about was ourselves. About time, if you asked me.
I was still in touch with Zayn though, he told me he was gonna stay in L.A. and he would also wait for Harry, and I had no idea how this whole situation was going to turn out. Harry told me he didn't want to see Zayn ever again and I knew he didn't mean that, but a broken friendship was something so complicated to fix.
It could be a matter of days or weeks before Harry started to accept what happened, but I knew we had to sit and talk to Zayn and Amber. I didn't tell Harry his mother was the FBI's informant, first because he told me he wasn't ready to know anything else... and second because this was something Amber should explain along with Anne.
If I just dropped it without knowing the whole story it would only hurt him more and make him anxious, and it was the last thing I wanted.
Harry already had to deal with the fact his dead mother was alive, I wasn' t going to add more to that when he was so on edge. This was too recent and sudden.
And it was quite hard to ignore the rage inside my mind because of Liam and my brother's death, but I had to put that on hold for now. He could wait too, he was probably looking for me, and for now I wasn't going anywhere... so Harry would have my full attention and I hoped we could talk some more and somehow help him handle the pain.
