Harry Styles
Darkness.
I know it's not supposed to be a feeling but it's the only word I could use to explain what I was experiencing at the moment.
The uncontrollable terror, sweating cold, and racing heartbeat as if I was locked somewhere in the dark all over again.
Only this time I was looking at my mother.
I couldn't handle this at all, I was completely frozen in place and I probably forgot how to breathe too. The pressure over my chest the moment I looked into her eyes became just too much for me to bear.
Things around me seemed blurry as my eyes started to water on their own, the ringing in my ears was deafening to the point I felt dizzy. I honestly had no idea how to deal with all these suffocating feelings crashing in at once.
I was already scared and stressed because of the car apparently following us on our way back home and now this? Zayn was also looking at me, with wide eyes as if he wasn't expecting us to come back now.
But my eyes didn't linger on him for too long because my mother was here. She was real.
It was hard to explain what seeing her was making me feel, my stomach was clenching nonstop and she was actually alive... she was here. Listening to it was one thing, but seeing her was another.
She looked older, of course, but other than that the exact same gentle eyes... she had a sad expression on her familiar face and she just stared at me, unsure of where to look at first as her eyes moved from my head to toes as if she wanted to make sure I was really there too.
Fuck.
My hands were already shaking as I tried to breathe, but it was pointless. I felt someone touching my hand but it seemed like my mind was too far away to acknowledge what was happening, I was getting sucked into the same dark void inside my mind.
My mother's presence was enough to make me break, I wasn't prepared at all for this and I wasn't strong enough to stop my mind from taking over, letting the darkness consume every single cell as the scariest chill went down my spine.
I wasn't sure of what was happening or why, but I couldn't stop myself from spiraling down or getting lost in the scariest parts of my mind.
And that's when I heard it... the echo in the back of my head.
The same fucking whistling that had been haunting me since the night of the fire, and I had no idea if seeing my mother again was triggering these repressed memories.
My head hurt way too much and my breaths became heavier, each sharp intake of breath made my lungs burn to the point I was too dizzy... and everything went black.
//
I could hear the sea. It used to make me smile, my dad used to show me his toy ship collection and I'd always be so excited to watch him. But I couldn't touch, he told me they were too expensive, that's why he gave me
M my own wooden ship.
This wasn't the kind of ship I wanted to be in.
The waves were loud and scary, they kept me awake at night. Hearing them in the dark only made it worse, it sounded like monsters.
Gem told me monsters weren't real, but the fact we were in here proved her wrong. I wanted to go home. We were supposed to be on our way home when someone stopped us, I only remembered a black van and then more darkness.
It was always so dark.
"Gem, it hurts," I whispered at my sister, knowing she was right next to me because she kept whistling the same low tune, it was the only thing that made me feel calm.
