all we have is now / feral boys fanfiction

~8~ stream

Karl ends the stream an hour later. We all start to get ready for bed. I pick up my bag from Karl's living room.

"Um, Karl?" I say.

"Yeah?" Karl pops his head into the room.

"Where am I sleeping?"

"With Quackity and Sapnap. You all have to sleep in the same bed,." he says casually as he folds a hoodie.

Huh? "You're joking."

"You're not sleeping with me," Quackity says as he walks by with a water in hand, "I kick in my sleep."

"Guess it's you and me then," Sapnap laughs.

This is not happening. I am not sleeping in the same bed as Sapnap. And Quackity. This isn't some cliche fanfiction. I am not y/n in this situation. No way. They're clueless.

Besides, we can't all fit onto Karl's full side guest bed. That would be just way too small.

"Uh," I say, trying to act natural, "I-.. Well I don't.. I'm not."

"Taegan." Karl laughs at me. "We're joking. Quackity already agreed to sleeping on the couch and Sapnap is sleeping in my room. No worries."

"We're gentleman here," Sapnap nods, "We respect you and your personal space."

I blush a little. "Um, thanks guys."

I excuse myself to wash my face in the bathroom as I get ready for bed. My hair is pulled back in a curly mess, and the bags under my eyes look more prominent than usual. I choose to ignore the person in the mirror and continue on my way. I pat my face with a towel when there's a knock on the door.

"What?" I open the door to see Quackity.

"Can we squeeze in here to brush my teeth?" he asks, leaning into the doorway.

"Mhm," I open the door wider before pausing, "Wait did you say we?"

Before I know it all three boys are crammed into the bathroom and fighting for the sink.

Sapnap elbows Karl away. "I'm the youngest."

"I'm the oldest," Karl fights back.

"I asked her." Quackity stands in the back watching.

Talk about personal space. I roll my eyes.

The boys decide to stay after they finish brushing their teeth to watch me brush mine for some reason. Karl is laying down in the bathtub, Sapnap is leaning against the wall and Quackity decided it would be a fun idea to stand on the toilet seat.

"You're going to break that," Sapnap points out.

"Are you calling me fat?" Quackity drops his jaw, "Are you body shaming me?"

Sapnap raises his brows and puts his hands up in defense to show that was not his intentions. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Karl ignores the bickering boys. "You should start streaming, Taegan." He sits up straighter in the bathtub.

The toothpaste in my mouth prevents me from talking, so I make a face in the mirror and shake my head.

"Why not?" Quackity stops talking to Nick for a second.

"Yeah, you're funny." Nick makes eye contact with me in the mirror.

"Stream, stream, stream." the boys whisper chant.

I roll my eyes, then spit the toothpaste into the sink. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" Quackity repeats.

"Because I said so," I say, wiping my hands on a towel.

Karl leans over the tub's ledge. "That's not a good reason."

"Yeah, we need a valid reason," Quackity sits on the toilet, luckily the seat is down.

"That is my valid reason." I give them a little smile.

I can't stream. I don't want to have that much influence on that many people. It's too scary for me.

I admire the boys for what they do. They put themselves out in the world for all to see, and I think that takes a lot of faith. They put hard work into their jobs, and they get a lot of positive feedback. But it's the negative that scares me.

I worry that fans won't like me. I'm a people person. I hate that sometimes because it means that I look for validation in other people's opinions, but that's the life I live.

And I worry that streaming would make me change who I am for the audience. That's the last thing I would want to do. To change myself for a stranger's validation.

"Whatever," Karl mutters, "but if you do want to stream. We're here to help."

I smile once again. I always say no but sometimes I think that maybe it wouldn't be too bad. Who knows.

"Let's just say I'll think about it."

"Let's go," Quackity laughs, "It's not a no."

I laugh a little. I didn't shut it completely down because I think that it is intersting, but it wasn't a total yes. It's a maybe.