how to be happy...

18

A/N: heyyyy im taking some of your suggestions into account for this one (ps. this might well be your last update for another week but we will see how things go alright :) )

Scarlets Pov:

Lizzie walked back into the living room and sat beside me on the couch with a reassuring smile but worried eyes.

"How is she" i said softly so that Y/N couldn't hear from the other room.

"She seems... out of it. Like her responses have been programmed into her brain. She called me ma'am... I don't know it just seems like she's really scared. I know you hoped me being here would help, I think it did, a little she was okay at the beginning but then she just went inside her head."

I just sighed and leaned back on the sofa, gently sinking in and bringing my hands up to my eyes. I felt a hand brush my hair back and place my head on her shoulder. We sat there, for a while, my worries temporarily fleeing with every gentle brush through my hair.

"Did she need anything? I want to feel useful" I whispered.

"No, I offered her food but she wouldn't take it, said she wasn't hungry, but she didn't eat what you left out earlier so personally I think its bullshit"

I sat up at that, has she eaten since she got here? shit what is that two days?!

"oh shit, shit, shit" I stood up fast and started pacing

"what? what what is it?" Lizzie was sat up and alert now.

"I haven't seen her eat since she got here..."

"Didn't you say she got here two days ago?" she said hurriedly her eyes wide.

"Yep-"

"Okay, deep breath alright? you go make something, something docile like a sandwich or rice cakes not like waffles"

I stood up and went to the kitchen thoughts running through my head a million miles an hour and other thoughts trying to counteract them. What if she passes out? Maybe she didn't think it was alright to eat the food I gave her, calm down maybe she just didn't like any of it. I put together some rice cakes and butter. I handed the plate to lizzie and she nodded in understanding and started walking to the guest room.

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Y/Ns  pov

Lizzie came in carrying another plate. This time with rice cakes on it.

"Here, I figured if you didn't like that I'd try something different" she said nodding towards the plate from earlier.

"Thank you, but really I'm not hungry" I lied.

"Sweetie, Scarlett says she hasn't seen you eat since you arrived there's no way you aren't even a little hungry. Are you vegan or do you have allergies?" She seemed so worried. I couldn't avoid it anymore.

'Just a little, to stop her worrying 'I thought to myself.

I picked it up and took a few bites with faux confidence. I looked up to see Elizabeth smiling at me and with fear of angering or disappointing her I finished the rest.

"Thanks that was lovely." I said once I had finished all three of them. Suddenly what I had just done came crashing down on me. It didn't feel like I was supposed to do that, I wasn't, I shouldn't have. It felt like everything I was working towards, all the progress in making myself the best I could be was undone. I felt utterly and completely worthless.

' I have to fix this' as soon as I had that thought I felt so very sick. I rushed up and ran to the bathroom ignoring Elizabeth calling after me worriedly.