What The Fox? (Completely Free!)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

For a second, I wondered if I still had it in me to do it. I laid the palms of my hands on Alix's bare chest. His chest hair reminded me of the feeling of raw unspun silkworm cocoons that I once collected as a child on Xuyi Mountain. My palms pressed harder until I made contact with his hot skin. I could almost feel the pulsating Lycan blood flowing underneath. My doubts were unwarranted. Closing my eyes, I made the connection to Alix again. This time he invited me in. It sucked me in, and the sensation was not unlike falling asleep.

The currents of Alix's thoughts appeared to me behind my closed eyes like bursts of dreams. I saw myself through his eyes, my eyes like a pair of beguiling fox eyes. I saw his desire for me, which burned with an all-consuming passion, one worth committing an act of treason against his packmates for. I saw his discomfort and distaste for the ways of his werewolf brethren but his inability to challenge them.

His father had always ruled with an iron fist. A werewolf Alpha is not a philosopher or a scholar. He leads by ripping out the tongues of those who speak words he doesn't like. He hunts down those who dare to defy his commands. If he said the sky was purple, none would dare defy him. Alix knew that as an Alpha, his subjects had to offer him absolute obedience, for any violation of that pact that goes unpunished would be seen as a weakness.

Alix knew that among wolves, weakness was death. That was why he had to dominate me to maintain his position. He knew it, and he hated it. Perhaps, some shewolves enjoyed being made to submit. He hoped that the woman he loved would love him enough to give in to such shows of control.

All the same, he wished he didn't have to. He wished he could be weak, have second thoughts, and be human just for a second— for one night, just one embrace.

Alix wanted me to love him as I loved my human lovers. That was what he wanted more than he wanted to be a ruler. I saw that in his heart of hearts. But even as I glimpsed those treacherous thoughts, he closed himself off to me. He threw a veil over them as though this was embarrassing, and I had caught him in a horrible state of undress. No, it was worse than undress. It was punishable by death. If his pack mates knew that he was weak, even if it were only for a second, they would kill him.

He could fight one or two of them — but not all of them. He knew that, and perhaps he concealed it from me because he was afraid. An Alpha wolf who wasn't as invulnerable as he pretended to be, who didn't believe his own lies of strength, who actually used his wiles to achieve his success, would be branded a traitor. His father would never allow such a thing.

Perhaps this Alpha must change his men and bring about a new way of thinking. I whispered even though I didn't mean to challenge him. Perhaps you wolves must change or perish.

They would rather perish than change, Alix replied. You would never understand, Selene. You are too human. The she-wolves understand.

Then find yourself a she-wolf.

But I have chosen you. I will have you whether you want it or not.

The vision ended with those words. I couldn't pry anymore into the secrets of his well-guarded Alpha heart. He believed he had already shown me too much, far too much.

He cursed himself. He had started the vision by showing me only what he wanted to show me, but his true heart of hearts had let out its tail under its disguise. I didn't care about his true thoughts. I didn't care much for him at all at that moment. I just wanted to know if my fox powers were returning to me or if this was just another illusion.

I didn't know if I was making this connection through my fox demon powers or his lupine mate-bond. Either way, I knew better than to believe that I had the upper hand.

Even now, in my weakened human state, I knew how to accomplish what he asked of me. I drew the glowing moonlight from his eyes and replaced his irises with those of a mortal man.

Healing was the last skill this medicine woman from Xuyi could muster. I wondered if I was spelling out certain doom for the humans by allowing this wolf into their midst with human eyes.

He could kill them all if they welcomed him with open arms. Even as these thoughts clouded my head, I felt Alix drawing back. He could see my mind as clearly as I could see into his. I felt him shoving me back, out of the dream world and back into the icy, crisp night of Datong.

I opened my eyes and took a few deep gulps of air into my lungs. I looked down to see my feet still firmly planted on the white stone of the sacred mountain. Awake. I had returned to the real world. I blinked to clear the drunken, sleepy feeling from my head. Acts of healing this way always left me weakened.

I glanced up, and the night seemed even darker than when I had climbed this path earlier. Could it be that my eyes were weakened as well? The air was cold for an autumn night, and I wished I wasn't shivering so hard that my teeth chattered.

I didn't want to invite Alix to warm me with his embrace. He was handsome. Yes, he still was, even as I hated him. His muscles rippled like waves in a bronze ocean with his every move. His smile was more beautiful than the morning sun. I wanted to love him, but I couldn't love all of him.

I loved myself too much to commit my life to be an Alpha wolf's subservient mate. Only an idiot would sell themselves in slavery for love.

"Are you ready?" Alix asked, clearing his throat impatiently. "Let's go before the night watch discovers us. They'll kill us both if they find us here like this."

I swallowed and nodded. Even though Alix smirked at me in that weasel-like way that men often do when they have a secret, I wanted to trust him.

Maybe it was the way the moonlight shone over the rolls of his muscular torso or the way he moved easily over the rocky downslope of the mountain, like a panther approaching his prey. Whatever it was, it made me want to follow him into the darkness, into the Imperial Army's camp, back to Julong, to find the truths that my heart had refused to acknowledge.

Alix was always the jealous type. Werewolves, from the legends I've studied, often were. Now, he was taking me back to where it all began.