VLOG IT! (Until The Moment Comes) COMPLETED

Prologue

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Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa bintana ng kotse at ipinikit ang mga mata. Naririnig ko ang pagtatalo ng aking mga magulang habang pauwi na kami. It's snowing outside and the cold feeling is embracing me.

Isinalpak ko sa tenga ko ang earpods at tinodo ang volume para hindi ko na marinig pa ang pagtatalo nilang dalawa.

Araw-araw namang ganyan eh. Hindi ba sila nagsasawa? Bakit pa sila nagpakasal kung puro away lang din?
They lack of trust to each other and I think love is not enough anymore.

Iminulat ko ang mga mata ko nang maramdaman kong tumigil ang sasakyan sa gilid. Inalis ko rin ang earpods sa tenga ko at pinagmasdan ang magulang ko.

"Nakakapagod kana. Sinabi na nga sayong wala akong babae." My Dad said.

He's tired of mom? But why? Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, dapat ka ba talagang mapagod? I just don't get why.

"You're still denying it? Nakita mismong mga mata ko kung paanong nakalingkis sayo ang tinatawag mong kaibigan lang!" It's mom.

"Hindi ko nga siya babae! Kung nakita mo naman pala sana nakita mo rin kung paano ko itaboy ang babaeng iyun!"

My mom just cried out loud.

I sigh because I'm too tired of this. Pauulit ulit na lang silang ganito. Pagsususpetsahan ni Mom si Dad and Dad will  also do the same and every single time, they will find something na pag aawayan nila.

Lumabas ako ng kotse at dumiretso sa convenience store na malapit. I bought ice cream for us three. We're supposed to go camping together and spend one whole week camping even though it's snowing because this is the only time they have.

Nagbayad na ako sa counter ng pinamili kong Ice cream at lumabas na doon. Naglalakad na ako pabalik sa kotse while Dad is outside of the car and waiting for me. He wave to me happily so I waved back too. Malapit na ako sa kotse nang bigla na lamang isang truck ang dire-diretsong bumangga sa kotse namin. My mom was there and my dad too.

Nabitawan ko ang hawak kong plastic na may lamang ice cream. Our car was crashed and my dad is under the car. I can't even see my mom.

Hindi ko alam... Hindi ko alam ang gagawin.

"M-mom... D-dad..."

******

"The kid didn't even cry. That's what they said."

"It must've shocked him for too much
."

"He witness his parents death. Oh I pity him."

Tumayo ako sa pagkakaupo ko nang marinig ang mga iyun at lumabas ng chapel kung saan nakaburol ang parents ko. Dire-diretso lang ang lakad ko at walang pakielam sa mga taong nakatingin lamang sa akin.

Naupo ako sa labas at blankong nakatingin sa madilim na kalangitan.

"Bakit hindi mo rin ako sinama? Why did you left me behind? Why my parents only? How canI live without them?"

I can't even cry. I can't even shed tears like others. I just knew that my heart is aching too much for my parents. We're supposed to go camping.

" If I didn't insist to go camping that day, would they still be alive? "

******

Days after my parents burial, I can't still go back to my normal life. Nasa loob lang ng kwarto at hindi makakain ng mabuti.

I heard a knock on my door's room. It's uncle probably.

" Stanley, go down stairs and eat. You're always inside your room. Your parents wouldn't like that."

Hindi ako nakinig at mas piniling matulog na lamang ulit.

Nagising ako nang madaling araw. My parents don't know that I have depression. I always go to a psychiatrist for consultation but I can't seem to improve. Mas nadagdagan pa yata ang lungkot ko dahil sa nangyari sa parents ko.

I watched my girlfriend died before my eyes and so my parents. What should I do? My mind can't handle everything anymore. Pakiramdam ko any moment mawawala na lamang ako sa sarili ko.

Sinubukan kong libangin ang sarili ko at nanood ng mga videos online but my mood won't just lit up.

I sigh and I walked towards the bathroom. Naghilamos ako nang paulit ulit at paulit ulit ko ring hinuhugasan ang mga kamay ko.

Lumabas ako ng CR at bigla na lamang akong nakakita ng gunting sa lamesa. I stared at it for a moment and I don't know why I immediately grabbed it and stabbed my wrist.

Umagos ang dugo mula sa pulsuhan ko at ni hindi manlang ako nakaramdam ng kahit na anumang sakit. Pababayaan ko na lang sana iyun at hahayaan ang sarili na mamatay nang biglang may nag ingay sa cellphone ko na nasa kama. Isa yung video ng isang babae.

" Henlooo guys! This is my first vlog as a patient! I will share to all of you what is the life of a patient inside of the hospital. And my guess for today is my one and only mother doctor dear!!! Yeeyyyy!"

"Ano na naman ba 'to ' nak? Imbes na nagpapahinga ka eh."

"Ma naman. Hindi ako mapapagod sa vlog kong 'to okay? Don't yah worryyyy! Magsha-share lang ako ng mga tips and how's my life in the hospital! Actually, hospital is my kingdom! I'm a princess hereee hahahahaha!"

Napatingin ako sa wrist ko and for some reason I immediately put pressure on it to stop it from bleeding even more. I knocked on mu uncle's door to give a help and he immediately treated it and we went to hospital for it.

" Are you trying to kill yourself, Stanley?! I know it's hard for you but don't give up okay?!"

"I don't even know, Uncle why I did that. It's just too painful and I can't even cry. My heart is in so much pain."

And at the moment on, I became her fan.

******

K i a z y h y u n

;Don't expect a happy ending in this story. I can't see it ending at that way hehe✌️