Starboy

Chapter 69: The Downfall

Brandy

I roll around in bed, exhausted from last night. Benji is still sleeping like a baby, and I smile as I watch him silently. And when I look at him, a dangerous thought strikes me and I realize I can't stay quiet about it anymore. It isn't my place but for some reason that doesn't bother me.

Quickly, I get dressed and head out the door, bolting toward the subway. The prison is isolated, dark and lonely. I start to feel depressed just looking at it. I can't even believe Steven is someplace behind these stone walls, existing like he always does, but without his power.

The man at the front desk has a blank stare, either bored out of his mind or ready to snap as soon as someone speaks to him.

"Can I help you?" He asks. Yes, just bored out of his mind.

"I'm hoping to visit Mr. Steven Cruz. My name is Brandy Bright," I tell him.

He effortlessly throws a clipboard across the table, hardly listening to me. "Fill this out and wait for us to call your name."

I do as I'm told and sit in a chair by the window when I'm done. I suddenly realize I don't know what I'm doing here and what I plan to say to him. I've known Steven since I was twelve years old, and in that time, I've grown to really like him and admire him. This year, however, altered my mind quote drastically. I don't admire him, I don't like him and I certainly do not respect him. I just want him to know that.

"Brandy Bright," the security guard says sternly. I look up and she nods at me, her expression ever so vacant.

I've never been in a place where the people didn't trust me, where they felt the need to pat me down and watch my every step. I sit down in a tiny chair that squeaks whenever I move and wait upon his arrival. I wonder if he will even want to see me — I am so nervous.

Suddenly, he walks in. It's funny; he looks like Steven but at the same time, he doesn't. For the first time ever, he isn't wearing an expensive suit and he doesn't have a smile on his face. His hair hasn't been freshly cut and I can tell he hasn't bothered to shave his beard. He sits down across from me and then it hits me: What the hell am I going to say?

"Brandy," he nods. "May I ask what you've come to see me for?"

I sigh. "I was wondering that on the bus, you know."

"And what did you conclude?" He rests his arms on the table.

"I've concluded..." I sigh again. "That I just wanted to see you. I think there are some things I'd like to discuss with you."

"And what are those things, Brandy?"

"You know what things, Mr. Cruz. Benji, of course." I try to relax in my seat but my thighs are pressed together and my leg is shaking.

"There's nothing about Benji to discuss," he shrugs and leans back in his chair. How is he so relaxed and I am not? He is literally in prison. Okay, I guess I am in a prison right now too, but he's the one living here.

"I disagree," I say, copying his motion by sitting back in the chair. "You see... while you're here doing God knows what..." I chuckle. "I'm at home, with a deeply broken boy. A boy who is so broken he can't even seem to discuss anything to do with you. You did that, Mr. Cruz. Benji won't admit it but you broke him. I just want to know, how? How can a father break his own son?"

"Why are you asking me this, Brandy?" He seems curious.

"Because. Because I'm his life, and my job is to understand him, to protect him. And I want to understand your point of view, Mr. Cruz. I want to understand how we got to this point, because personally, I'm lost. You're his father..." I scoff, still disgusted at the memory of him beating Benji up on the street. "How could you do this to him?"