✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

30. The Other Side

Tess stretched and blinked, opening her eyes. She must have been tired last night; she barely remembered going up to her room. She did remember Gabby losing her mind, and Ffrances desperately trying to be the voice of reason. And she remembered that she had found a chance to laugh again, watching an 80s heist movie called Crim Son. It wasn't a comedy, and she wouldn't have been old enough to watch it in the cinema now. It even had a wobbly title card advising that it contained darker themes and extreme graphic violence, but they hadn't been able to contain their laughter at wooden acting, bad Russian accents, and cardboard cutout sets that seemed to be continually on the point of falling over.

Tess set up and stretched again, trying to remember the time. She was only waking up slowly, as she apparently hadn't thought to set her alarm, but there was some light visible outside the blinds. She reached down to check her diaper, and cursed under her breath. It seemed that she'd been more tired than she realised the night before, or perhaps worrying about Spike had interrupted her normal routine. It was the first night she'd forgotten to put on one of the totally-not-a-diaper pyjama pants since Gabby had told her she had to; and apparently it was the night she'd needed one. The sheets were soaked again, and Tess blushed crimson when she realised what Gabby would say.

On the other hand, there was one positive. There was one way her luck had come in: it was Saturday. And she'd already made a routine of doing laundry every Saturday morning, unless there was something else demanding her attention. She emptied out her laundry basket onto the floor, rolled up the soaked sheets, and put them inside. She stuffed most of the clothes she'd worn that week down the sides of the bag, making sure there was no chance of a damp patch soaking through to the bag itself. Nobody would know that this week was any different; but to maintain the illusion she would need to stick as close as possible to her usual routine.

She wiped the bed down with an antibacterial cleaning wipe, and threw that in the bin. She didn't think the plastic protective sheet over her mattress would show a mark anyway, but it was best to be sure. And then she pulled out a citrus and jasmine incense cone from a pack that had been Kim's housewarming gift, making sure there would be no hint of a smell to let anyone know what had happened. Then she put the laundry bag by the side of her bed, ready to take it downstairs later, and made her way across to the bathroom. She realised that her whole body was tense, terrified that someone would notice the laundry bag and decide to do it for her. She couldn't cope with the thought of Gabby discovering she hadn't taken precautions, or Ffrances finding out about her little accidents. But her door only locked from the inside, and if she went downstairs before showering that would be just as much a clue. She told herself that they wouldn't invade her privacy; the only time Gabby had stuck her head through the door was to check that Tess was actually awake. So if she acted normally, they wouldn't even see the bag. Hands shaking, she picked out clean clothes and fought against all of her instincts. She left the bedroom door ajar as she hurried to the bathroom, knowing that would be the best way to avoid any suspicion.

During breakfast, Gabby's fingers were drumming on the table whenever she wasn't holding her much, and she seemed to have a kind of nervous energy that Tess hadn't seen before. It was clear that something important was happening, but Tess had no idea what it could have been; and neither of the adults seemed inclined to share. They were just talking about normal things, like last night's movie and the importance of mafia stories for spreading the idea that a criminal could still be the hero of his own story.

"You got plans today?" Gabby asked, apparently having let go of the need to take control that she had shown the night before. "Or we could call it a proper rest day?"

"I've got a whole bunch of homework," Tess answered. "I could probably afford a couple of hours to go out, but it's too easy to get carried away with friends. Better if I stay home and do the work first."

"Smart choice," Ffrances said with a nod, and gave Tess a smile and a quick wink, which she didn't immediately understand the meaning of. "Now, I think there's some things I need to pick up from my office, and perhaps something I need to check on. But it might be good for us to spend some time together later. Maybe we can try to be more like a family, if we're going to be living together for the immediate future."

"Thank you," Tess nodded. She felt a lot better knowing that Spike was safe, and she was quietly confident that was what Ffrances had meant by checking on something at work. Hadn't she told Gabby where she'd taken him? Either way, it meant that she really cared about Tess and her friends, and wasn't going to automatically side with her girlfriend whenever there was a disagreement. That knowledge helped Tess to feel safe again.

Ffrances left, and Gabby was still fidgeting. She started to speak a few times, but didn't get beyond "Umm...?" before lapsing back into silence. Tess guessed that there wasn't going to be anything to hear soon, so she went back up to her room and brought the bag of laundry down. The problem then was that Gabby was still sitting at the kitchen table, maybe waiting for something. Tess would need to lift all her clothes and sheets into the washing machine, and they would be visible for just a moment. But there was a simple solution to that. She noticed a smear of what could have been mayonnaise on the outside of the laundry bag. Perhaps it had dripped from a snack one evening, but now it gave her the excuse she needed.

"I should wash this too," she said, poking at the mark with a finger. Then she pushed the whole bag into the washing machine, pushing on the bottom as she did so. The bag ended up inside the machine, inside out, with all the rest of the clothes. And the wet patch on the sheets was still her little secret.

"So..." Gabby started again. She seemed like she was actually nervous. Maybe she really wanted to apologise, rather than her angry failure to do so last night. In any case, Tess knew that she couldn't just let her keep waiting.

"Was there something you wanted to say?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's just embarrassing, and I don't know how to... You know."

"Is it about last night?"

"Not as such. But I do need to say sorry. I let my prejudices get ahead of me. Your parents wanted me to protect you, and it feels like I'm not able to do that. When I was your age I trusted some boys a bit too much, and I wish someone had told me that someone who seems too good to be true is probably spinning you a line. Like, you think you're special because he helped you with something, but he could be doing the same for everyone. Just fishing for someone who'll–"

"Gabby," Tess cut her off. "You still missed the point. Spike stood up to the bullies when we first arrived in Raybridge, right? But he's not trying to make me feel special, or convince me that he has feelings. If he sees someone else in that situation he'd do the same, because it's the right thing to do. He helps everyone, even if he gets the short end of the stick. He's not interested in me like that." Then she couldn't say any more. Saying something like that, while still hoping she was wrong.

"Yeah. It's just hard comparing that to my own experience. And I'll promise you, the next time you want to introduce one of your friends, I'll try not to jump to conclusions like that. You're... old enough to choose your own friends, and I'm not going to interfere with that."

"Thanks," Tess nodded, not sure how sincere the apology was. "So, there was something else you had to say?"

"I need to ask you for help. But it's a bit weird, and I know it's a big thing to ask. So..."

"So? Look, there's no sense just standing here. Let's get some coffee, go to the lounge, and then you can tell me what you're so worked up over."