✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

35. Tess's Request

Tess was so excited, she wanted to run upstairs and get changed right away. She wanted to know how it felt to feel herself following an instruction she didn't fully remember. There was no doubt in her mind now that it would work. But there was still one thing slowing her down. One more question that she needed to ask Ffrances, before she lost her nerve.

"They say hypnosis can help you relax and sleep better," she said, although that wasn't really what she wanted, except in the most abstract sense. She wanted help, she knew that now, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"And I've not had the best sleep lately. I think it might be because of stress." That wasn't it either, but she was halfway there. If she could dispense with whatever the worries were that she wasn't admitting to herself, she was sure that she would be able to sleep properly again. Not attached to a pendulum that swung between sleepless nights and sleeping too deeply.

"And..." She knew that she had to say it, if she wanted Ffrances to help. "I don't know if you noticed when I do the laundry, but..."

Ffrances was observant; it was something Gabby had commented on a few times over the last few months. But it was still a surprise to Tess when she guessed right away. She knew that Tess had a bedwetting problem, after all the effort she'd made to hide it. She knew that she'd spoken to Gabby about it, as well. Because Gabby had been reading up on whether hypnosis could help, and her only source for real peer-reviewed information was the mountain of journals in Ffrances's home office. She could see which ones had been moved, and she could see the common thread in them. So before Tess said another word, Ffrances explained that she knew exactly what she wanted.

"I could probably get you to stop," she explained, after detailing the clues that had allowed her to figure it out. "But not without detrimental effects on your emotional health. If you have some unaddressed stresses and anxieties, it would be negligent of me to help mask that. Making you stop would be harmful, if you didn't first see a professional about resolving the underlying issues. But... allowing you to have a little more control, something that can help you some nights when you think it's important? I think I could do that. Of course, you're talking about a reflexive function, which might not always be under the control of the brain, so the efficacy of the suggestions could vary. But there's some research to suggest that giving control to an external agency can make it easier to have actual control. If that makes sense."

"Like in rehab?" Tess guessed, thinking about what Spike had said about his mother's experiences, back when she was at least trying to be a good parent. She couldn't just promise that she would overcome the urges; she would need to trust in a higher power to protect her. Whether that was god, or her family, or just the other members of the group looking out for her. It was easier to overcome a problem that came from within if there was someone else to take charge.

Ffrances agreed that it was similar, although more complex. As she explained it, Tess thought she understood. If she was scared that she was losing control of a bodily function, she could restore some of her confidence by giving that control to someone else, someone she trusted. A post-hypnotic suggestion so that Ffrances or Gabby could order her not to wet the bed each night, and her subconscious mind would take extra care to make sure that was what happened. It wasn't safe to do that constantly in case she became dependent on it. But sometimes if she felt more worried than usual, it might help her. Tess nodded, trying to take in the extra facts. But Ffrances said that she should think carefully about it in any case. If she was willing to take that compromise she should ask again later. After she had experienced an afternoon of fun, and found out how good her subconscious mind was at following simple suggestions.

Tess nodded, and eagerly followed Ffrances up the stairs to the box room. This was it. She would get to try something new, to find out how it felt for her mind to be influenced by a suggestion she wouldn't think of fighting. To be called a child and not feel upset by it. And later in the day, she would be freed from the spectre of wet sheets.

Today, every single thing was going perfectly, and she could change everything that needed to change. It was the start of the rest of her life.

* * *

"Yours is in the bedroom," Ffrances said, sending Gabby off up another flight of stairs to her own room. Then she turned to the door almost opposite Tess's room, and stepped inside for a moment. Tess felt an urge to peek, because she had never seen what was inside this mysterious room. But she knew that she had to behave today, if she wanted her first experience with hypnosis suggestions to be a good one.

"Is mine in here?" Tess asked, rather than poking her head in.

"Got it right here," she said, and returned to the landing. There was a bundle of dark green material in her hand, something thick that Tess might have assumed was a table cloth or folded curtains if she hadn't seen it recently. She thought back to the photo they had looked at over lunch, and the baggy outfit her younger self had been draped in. It wasn't stylish, it wasn't special, but she was sure it was a toddler's dress.

"The same dress I was wearing ten years ago?" Tess said with a chuckle. "I don't think this will fit."

"It should," Ffrances answered, but she didn't sound so confident. "It was too big for you then. They had the sleeves gathered up with safety pins, I guess it was a gift from someone who thought you were a little older, and your folks wanted to see if you liked it anyways. It would have been loose anyway, back then, and I bet it'll be pretty tight now, but I'd like to see if it still fits you. Maybe we can recreate that photo, I'd sure get a little laugh out of seeing the same outfit go from too big to too small."

"Okay, I'll give it a try," she said with a smile, taking the bundle of cloth. "Will Gabby be wearing old clothes too? I think she's getting younger already."

"She might be. She's stuck being younger than you, remember. Even before your age changes, and she probably won't allow herself to notice that anything has changed for a while. So... you still up for this?"

"I think so. How does it work, does it start when I get changed?"

"That's right. When you get changed you'll feel yourself getting a little younger. But we didn't decide how young, so it'll be whatever you think of when you hear 'a bit younger'. And after that, Gabby and I will be able to make you younger by telling you how old you are. If she's not playing fair, you can always ask me to overrule her. You're the older one today."

"I think I can live with that. Going through a few years of my history, seeing how I might have felt if I didn't have to act twice as mature to get half the respect. It'll be fun."

"And you'll be able to feel that again whenever you want, if you just start acting a younger age. So you can try again anytime."

"I won't. I mean, you know I'm only doing this for Gabby, right? Because it would have been too embarrassing for her if she was the only one trying it."

"I know. And I'm sure you'll both be adorable."