I Call Her Blueberry

Chapter Thirteen

Paisley's Point of View

I sat around the dinner table and pushed my fork into the roasted baby potato on my plate, while Orin stared at me from across the table with eye's that he had borrowed from the devil. Mom sat in-between the two of us forking up her food and shoving it onto her mouth. Everything was quiet and awkward. The only sound we heard was the sound of forks and knifes clinging against our plates.

And of course Taylor Swift playing softly in the background from the TV we had left on inside.

Since Liv had left five days ago and Orin keeping a close eye on me, I felt like a prisoner in this house under strict rules implemented by warden Orin. All that was missing was a freaken orange jumpsuit.

"So dad's coming tomorrow." I said breaking the ice and noticed mom's calm face changed instantly into a face I had never seen before, at that moment I had realized that it was a mistake for my lips to let's those words slip.

"You okay mom?" I asked while placing my fork on the table and giving her my full attention as Orin sighed deeply while banging his fork against his plate purposely as he ate.

"Yes honey I'm fine." She smiled putting a brave face on as my lips followed the motion that her lips had made.

Orin clenched his fist and out of the blue, slammed in down onto the table causing a loud bang to blast at my eardrums and make my eyes twitch.

"No, no she's not Paisley, of course she's not fine. She left the only man that had ever truly loved her for god knows whatever reason and tomorrow would be the first time she would see him again after eleven years." He snapped and pushed back his chair as he got up and slammed his fork down trying to relieve the anger that he had built up for so long.

"Orin, that's out of l-" I tried saying as my voice came out softly while staring into my mother's eyes and I could see it becoming glossy as if she was about to cry.

"No Paisley. I don't know why you're fucking defending her, she left you behind! She never came back and then one stupid letter comes after eleven years." He cut me off as I could see the anger in his green eyes fill to it's limit. "Anita you're pathetic." He said and shook his head as he stared down at her, she was still seated at the table with her plate placed in front of her.

He was right, she did leave us behind and one letter after eleven years doesn't make up for anything but she was trying and that was good enough for me. I had to defend her as she sat there with tears streaming from her eyes. It only felt right.

"Orin shut up!" I yelled as I hopped from my seat and walked up to him, standing face to face with the demonic version of my brother. "It doesn't matter what had happened in the past! Let it go! She is still your mother whether you like it or not! And you need to respect her!" I screamed at him letting go of all the negative energy I was feeling as mom sat there quietly listening to the words we had yelled at each other but she never said anything, she just sat there and cried her eyes out as her blonde hair ran down her face covering the hurt look she was afraid to show us.

"No! I refused to! Paisley every fucking time in the past when she fucked up, I had to fix it and make sure that you were okay. You won't remember this but I remember sitting up with you on your eighth birthday as I watched you cry yourself to sleep asking where your fucking mother was! I had to make up some bullshit story from the top of my head just so you could stop crying." He paused as he looked over at her weeping.

"There she is Paisley." He said pointing at her. "You ask her where the fuck she's been because while she's been out doing god knows what! I had to give up my childhood to look after her daughter and make sure to keep you on the right path! I had to grow up fast, I had to take care of you Paisley. Dad worked every fucking day so we could have food in our house. I had to be your mother and father at the age of nine." He yelled but I was silent as I watched him bring out the pain of eleven years. It's spilled out like an overflowing bathtub and I just had to let it happen, let him get it all out.

"I will never forgive you Anita, you took away my childhood. I was a kid with so much responsibility, I was responsible for a life that I didn't even bring into this fucking world, even though I love paisley more than anything. It was unfair! I will never forgive you for leaving Paisley, your only daughter and I will never forgive you for leaving dad." He yelled at her and then she ran off inside bursting out in tears.

He then walked over to the kitchen and grabbed his cigarettes from the counter along with his lighter.

"Orin." I said in a sad tone and grabbed ahold of his arm. I knew that he was hurting I could tell and I just wanted to make it stop.

"No paisley." He said and ripped his arm from my hand, pulling open the front door.

"Where are you going to?" I yelled.

"I need to smoke." He replied and banged the door behind himself.

Seeing Orin that way had felt like someone had shoved their hand into my chest and squeezed at my heart until it had exploded.

I wasn't sure of how to truly feel.

So I went to go check on mom. I walked to her bedroom and then knocked before I had entered quietly, pushing the door open slowly.

"Mom." I said as I saw her sitting on her bed. Her make-up was a mess and tissues filled her bed as she sat beside them, still sniffing and weeping a little.

"It's okay, I forgive you." I smiled as I sat down beside her and hugged her lovingly.

"I'm sorry honey. I have no excuse as to why I never came back. But Paisley I was scared to come back, I was scared that you and your brother would reject me and I know that doesn't make sense but I am sorry and if I could have done things differently I would have honey." She said as she wiped her nose and held me tighter against her as if she never wanted to lose me.

"It's okay mom." I said as a tear ran down my cheek, leaving a wet trail behind.

I was confused by what I was feeling but it didn't feel good. It felt like pain and sadness wrapped up in one. I didn't want to feel it anymore. So I had to remove myself from the situation and just go to bed.

"Mom, I think we should talk about this in the morning. It's been a crazy night and I think all of us just need to rest right now." I said and then got up from her bed and hugged her one last time before heading to my bedroom.

I had heard Orin slam the door shut as he had entered the house after his little smoke break and stomped his feet up the staircase and then stared into my room before entering his.

His eyes caught me sitting on my bed with my knees up as I cuddled my favorite plush toy, which was Nemo from Finding Nemo.

His steps came closer as he entered my bedroom and then sat down beside me smelling like smoke. I hated that smell but I didn't feel the need to comment on his smoking, like I always did. His face looked relaxed and somewhat sad.

"I'm going to bed now Paisley." He said in a sweet tone, obviously he had calmed down a little which was good, he then pulled me over to him. I felt my body drag against the blanket on my bed and then I was next to him. He just wanted me to be close to him for that moment.

"No matter what. I'll always love you, I know we fight all the time because we don't always agree on certain things but I shouldn't have raised my voice at you and I'm sorry Paisley." He said and kissed my forehead after he had gotten up. "I'm sorry too and I love you too Orin." I whispered and then he gave me a small smile as he left my bedroom and closed the door gently on his way out.

I heard his door shut and then I cuddled myself into the land of pillows and plush toys. I held onto Nemo and then drifted away with him in my arms.