The Mistake

Fooled

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I couldn't look at the picture anymore; I turned to look at Alex, whose eyebrows were narrowed and eyes widened in confusion as he saw the picture as well.

She put her hand in front of her mouth as she took in my expression. "Oh my God, you didn't know, did you? I- I'm sorry, they just sent it to this group chat with Sophie and I thought you'd seen it..."

The bell rang suddenly, signaling the end of the period. People from the bleachers began emptying the field, hurrying to get to their next class. Even though I could feel myself collapsing inside out, I forced an emotionless smile onto my face. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing just how bad that hurt. "I told you, nothing happened between us. Why would I care?"

"Right," Emily replied. "Well, it's good you don't care about the rumors, either. You know, everyone talking about you as his slut of the month, the depressed girl he's been fuck-"

"-Emily!" Alex snapped at her harshly, his entire body tensed next to me. But the way he said it and the look on his face made me realize he knew exactly what she was talking about. Emily raised her hands defensively and I felt my mind scatter. I was going to be sick.

"Alex, relax. I'm telling her this for her own good. She's too naive, you said so yourself. But don't worry, they'll move on to the next girl he starts to fuck soon." She said, a sympathetic expression warming her features, somehow making the words she said sound even harsher. "I tried to warn you, Sam." She sighed and shook her head. The worst thing was the pity in her voice actually seemed to be real. "But you didn't listen." She gave me a small, sympathetic smile and walked away as I stood there, unable to think or move or do anything. The field was empty by now, only Alex and me remaining.

"Sam-" Alex started carefully, reaching out to touch my shoulder. I flinched from his touch. If he said anything or tried to hug me right now, I'd collapse. I couldn't let myself do that. Not in front of him, or anyone. "Sam, please."

"You knew about it all, didn't you? What everyone's been saying?" It came out as barely more than a whisper.

He hesitated for a second, and with pain in his eyes, breathed, "Yes."

I almost laughed at the irony. "And you were mad at me for not telling you things?" I turned and started to walk away, anger and devastation and shame rising up, pumping blood through my ears, but Alex grabbed my arm and turned me around desperately.

"Come on, Sam, what the hell was I supposed to do? Call you up and say 'Hey, guess what? Just so you know, everyone in school thinks you and Nick have been sleeping together?' What difference would that have made?"
"And you can't listen to these fucking rumors, Sam. People are always going to talk, but I know how hard these things are for you to hear. And, listen, I hate to say it, but Emily's right. What she just showed you on her phone, these fucking rumors: those were the ways I'd feared you would end up getting hurt because of him, and I fucking hate him for it." He ran a hand through his hair again stressfully. He was angry; his breathing was heavier and his eyes were lit up in a way I hadn't seen on him before.

I just stood there feeling pathetic, unable to respond, weighing the load of everything that had just happened. I felt like my heart was collapsing inside me, a kind of hurt I hadn't experienced in a long time tearing up my insides. I felt so stupid, so used. Tears threatening to spill made my vision blurry, but I didn't want to cry. Not now.

I was trying so hard not to break, when suddenly Alex wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close to his chest, one hand around the back of my head, the other around my shoulders, and I just couldn't hold myself up anymore; I collapsed into him, his warm touch, his gentle hold around me making the tears spill over. He nestled his head over mine and rubbed my shoulder gently, comforting me. I hated that I was so vulnerable, unable to stop the tears from flowing, but with Alex holding me, I just couldn't find it in myself to care at the moment.

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That night was pure torture.

Alex had stayed with me until I stopped crying, and then he drove me home. He asked me if I wanted him to stay, but I needed to be alone. I wanted nothing more than to just sink into my bed and shut myself out from everything.

Laying on my bed at two in the morning, I grabbed my phone. I had texts from Alex, checking in on me, and one from Sophie from hours ago that read: "Sam, I have to show you something. Pls call me when u see this." I already knew what she was going to show me; Emily had told me they'd sent it to a group chat which she was in, too. I ignored her message for now, feeling too drained to talk or think about it right now.

I scrolled down to my older notifications and saw Nick's missed call I never returned. I felt my chest contract. I'd been so elated, so hard-set on my decision about Nick. It was crazy how everything could change in a few hours.

I felt like throwing up every time I closed my eyes. All I could see was Nick, kissing that beautiful girl which apparently was his ex. That's probably the real reason he went up there.

I wished I could erase ever seeing that picture from my memory. It hurt too much.

I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. The shame and the embarrassment of it all; the rumors that I'd been sleeping with him, that I was just the girl he was using, was enough to send me spiraling, but they were just rumors, and it was enough that I knew it wasn't true. I was so damn used to them it almost didn't surprise me.

But what hurt the most was seeing that picture; because that meant what I prayed desperately wouldn't be was actually real: Alex was right. I'd been naive. I'd fooled myself into thinking Nick would want to be with someone like me. That he would actually want something serious with me. That he cared...

I had no one but myself to blame; I knew what he was like, Alex tried to warn me, but I couldn't help it.

I fell for him.

And like history repeating itself after another stupid mistake I made, I was left alone, huddled in a corner in the dark, feeling nothing but pathetic.

After the exhausting anxiety attack that took a hold of me once more, leaving me breathless, I erased his call and shut my phone off, praying I could shut my thoughts off as easily as that as well. The last one I allowed myself to think was one that was as liberating as it was painful.

I was done being fooled by Nicholas Carter.

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Hope you guys enjoyed this one! All will be revealed in the next chapter... And get ready, it'll be in Nick's POV.

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