Dying is the Easiest Part

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The Pain And Regret

Fuck.

There's more.

There's more to all those brutal and painful confession that almost ended me. I don't know how to take it.

Too much. It's a lot to take in.

I just look at him. Wait for him to talk. Wait for him to confess. Wait for him to break me once again.

"I was nineteen when my mother found me," he says. "I was arrested for commiting theft. There's a Filipina woman together with a foreigner, bailing me out of jail. I was confused at first... why would these strangers pay my bail?" Natawa siya nang pagak. His fingers gripped the railings hard, so hard that it made his knuckles turn white.

"But then Mailyn told me that she's my mother. I don't even know if she's telling the truth. I was seven the last time I saw her and it was through the picture that my aunt burned. Mailyn told me that she and Justin Verona reconnected, and Mailyn told him that they have a son together," he pause, a mocking laugh escapes in his throat as tears begin rolling down his cheeks.

"I was so angry upon hearing that, Maeve. I was even disgusted that she considered me as her son. As her goddamn son. After abandoning me the second I was born? She has the nerve to claim me as her son? That was the most complete bullshit that I've ever heard in my whole life," He laughs, but his voice is broken and the tears keep falling from his eyes just like how they're falling from mine, too.

Ang boses niya ay parang kutsilyo na sinasaksak nang paulit-ulit ang aking dibdib.

"Mailyn and Justin tried to persuade me into moving in with them, but I'd rather live with people who steal and kill than to move in with the two of them who abandoned me when they were supposed to be the one who would protect me from the world and its cruelty. I was so angry, Maeve. I was so angry at them, so angry at God." He harshly wipes his tears using the back of his palm.

"It took them one whole year before they convinced me to give them another chance. Nagpunta kami ng US. True to their words, they took really good care of me. Pinag-aral nila ako. Justin used his connections just to get me in one of the Ivy leagues colleges. Pati sa apartment ko, sila ang nagbabayad ng renta. From my groceries, car, gas, clothes, pocket money- everything. They provided everything. But that wasn't enough for me," he clenched his teeth.

"I was still angry at them. Para sa akin, lahat ng binibigay nila ay kulang pa sa mga hirap na dinanas ko simula pagkabata. I have sworn to myself that I will never ever forgive them. Despite all their efforts to make it up for all those years that they aren't with me, I still chose to rebel against them," aniya.

Situations like this makes me question my own morals. What Garett did wasn't right but he has all the right to act that way. With those unimaginable things that happened to him.

What he's telling me were just tidbits- the summary of his story. Kapag kinukwento mo na lang, o di kaya'y kapag pinapakinggan mo ang isang kwento, akala mo ang dali-dali... but while Garett was currently in those situations, I'm positive that he was hurting like hell.

And the pain that he experienced got piled up until they turn into a massive anger that he didn't know how to handle, causing him to hurt his parents who hurt him first.

"In the US, racism was very rampant and thanks to my Dad's genes, I was safe from it." I look at him and he's right. His skin was tan, but his American features were more prominent than her Filipino features.