36- A Conversation

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I walked out the back door and straight to the trees at the edge of the woods.

"Jasper!" I yelled out as I made my way to the trees. "I know you're out here!"

"Go away."

I looked up to see Jasper sitting in a tree not far from me with a tight grip on the trunk.

"No," I told him. "Please come down here so we can talk."

"Go away." Even though he wouldn't look at me, I could tell Jasper's eyes were still dark, but he had calmed down a lot. Now he was just punishing himself for messing up.

"Jasper, this is not your fault," I told him, stepping closer to the tree he was in.

"Stop right there." His grip tightened on the tree, so I took a step back to give him space. "I almost killed her."

"You did not almost kill her," I told him. "You would have been fine if Edward didn't throw her into the glass."

"I lost control."

"Jasper, it's okay to lose control. You didn't even touch her."

"Emmet and Noah had to drag me outside."

I sighed, sat down on the ground, and leaned against a tree. "Jazz, it's going to be okay. Bella wasn't even mad at you when I came out here."

"You shouldn't be out here," he said, his voice softening. "I could hurt you."

"Carlisle disagrees."

"What?" Jasper finally turned and looked me in the eyes.

"Carlisle told me to come out here and talk to you," I told him. "He believed I could calm you down."

Jasper let go of the tree and jumped down to the ground, keeping his distance. "I still messed up," he told me.

"I'm not refuting that." I leaned my head against the tree as I spoke, trying to show him how calm I was. "What I am saying is you shouldn't beat yourself up about it because it was just that: a mess up. Mistakes happen."

"I could have killed her."

"But you didn't," I said, throwing my hands up in exasperation. My sleeves fell down slightly at my aggressive movement.

Jasper took a sharp intake as his eyes focused on my wrapped-up wrist. He obviously hadn't seen it before that moment. "I hurt you." His words were quiet, and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

I quickly got off the floor, wanting to reassure him. "I'm fine," I told him.

"I hurt you," he repeated louder, but just as broken. He looked into my eyes. "When did I hurt you?"

"When Edward threw Bella into the table," I replied, looking down at the ground. "You gripped my wrist too hard." I looked back up to his eyes, wanting to reassure him, "But I'm okay."

"I hurt you!" he yelled.

"I'll heal!" I yelled back.

The two of us stood in silence, looking at each other with a million different emotions running through our minds.

"How can you be okay with me hurting you like that?" He asked me, his voice breaking. "I'm a monster."

"Because I love you, Jazz," I told him, hoping to bring him to his sense. "And you didn't do it on purpose. Edward overreacted and made it a bigger problem."

"That's no excuse," he said, backing away from me. "I hurt you."

"Please don't leave," I begged him. "Don't do something rash."

"I need to hunt," he told me, walking farther away from me. "And I need a minute to think."

"Okay," I said, "I'll be here when you come back with open arms. I promise."

Without another word, he ran away into the forest to be alone. I made my way back into the house, where everyone was gathered in the kitchen.

"Let me look at your arm," Carlisle said, making his way over to me.

I sat down in a chair and let him look over how I set it. "He went to go hunt," I told the family.

"Give him time to calm down," Carlisle told me. "It'll all work out." He let go of my arm, saying, "You did a good job setting it. It should be healed by the morning. My guess is it was a fracture."

"Thanks," I told him while standing up. "I'm going to go up to our room."

I left the family behind, walking up to Jasper and mine's room. I knew they needed time to talk, and I didn't want to interfere. I grabbed a random book off a shelf and started reading, hoping to take my mind off everything until Jasper came home. I sat with the book in one hand and the wolf stuffed animal Jasper got me in the other. Hours later, when Jasper still hadn't come home, I felt myself begin to drift off to sleep.

Before I fell asleep, I sent one thought toward Edward, hopeful he would hear it.

Please don't do anything stupid you might regret when he comes home. He's still your brother, and this is your fault, not his.

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