Unbroken C.B

07

*Leighton's POV*

I haven't talked to Colby since that night, and I found out by Sam asking if I was fine being home alone for a week, that Sam and Colby were flying somewhere for a while.

I couldn't help but wonder for the rest of the night about what he had meant, but I figured it was nothing too serious since he's had some female friends around the house a lot lately.

When I woke up that morning for my interview, I had undressed to take a quick shower, only to be disappointed to see my apparent bump was gone.

So naturally, I took to google to ask when does your bump start to show, and it said between 12 and 16 weeks. Which means it should pop any day now.

I was both excited, and terrified. 

I was nervous to get my hopes up. I was scared that every time I'd see a "bump" it would just be bloating, and I'd be disappointed later.

I ended up getting a text back from Casey, telling me that everything was lined up, and just to have them call in for setting a date and time. I thanked her and figured I'd tell them once they had gotten back.

After my interview, I headed over to my ex's apartment, anxiety racing through my veins.

I was now 11 weeks pregnant, almost 12, and I haven't heard from Aaliyah. The only reason I knew she was still alive was because River was texting me, telling me to give her some time.

I wanted to do nothing more than apologize for what I had said to her, but she wouldn't even view my text, let alone respond to it, so I've thrown myself into job hunting and visiting my family, as well as getting used to being home alone in the new house for the first time. 

Jake has been spending a lot of time at Tara's, and Sam and Colby left to go to Iowa, meeting up with one of her childhood friends, which meant I walked into an eerily quiet house for the past week.

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Jake just moved out one day, because I've been here for like 2 weeks, and I see Colby emerge from his bedroom to grab snacks more than I ever have seen Jake.

Kat ended up going  somewhere to film a video with a few of her friends, so to say I was beyond bored, was the understatement of the year. 

Do you know what happens when you're bored? 

You overthink.

Which meant, I over thought about my pregnancy, and about what the baby would look like, or what the gender would be, if I even wanted to know the gender, if my bump was ever going to show, if I'd ever stop crying, or throwing up, if Sam and Colby would hate me for not telling them. If I'd be moved out by the time I wanted to. If I'd ever stop crying at 2am over my stupid ex boyfriend / baby daddy that I now have to see all the fucking time. What if. What if. What if. 

It's all I could think about. I truly felt trapped inside my own head as my mind was being swirled with worrying thoughts.

It's all I could think about.

Everything had changed so drastically since February, that I honestly was having a hard time keeping up. 

It did however make it easier to hide the pregnancy, and the symptoms that came along with it from my roommates, but every time I'd vomit or I'd fall asleep in my room, I would feel bad.

I felt so guilty for hiding it from them, but I knew most women did anyway, up until their second trimester due to miscarriage concerns, but it still felt wrong.

I was always really good about being bluntly honest about how I was feeling, or the things racing through my head, but I was scared shitless of getting kicked out.