Starboy

Chapter 71: Never Have I Ever

Brandy

Hellen insisted I come to her friend's party tonight, which may be a good idea. I've been stuck in bed for the last twenty four hours. My dad has literally had to come into my room to give me food. My mind has been so full with thoughts about Benji and everything that has happened between us. I can't think about anything else.

Dad knocks on the door before slowly and cautiously entering. "Brands?" He forms a smile. "I brought you some French toast... your favourite."

I half smile. "Thank you, Dad," I say quietly.

He places the plate down on my bedside table and then proceeds to sit down on the edge of my bed. "I can't have you this depressed at my wedding in three days," he jokes.

Oh, the wedding. I have almost forgotten about the wedding because I have been so obsessed with Benji. I am a horrible daughter.

"I won't be, I promise. I just need to let it out right now and I'll be as good as new on Saturday," I tell him.

He chuckles. "I was only joking. You take all the time you need." He kisses my forehead. "I'll leave you back alone in your room of sadness."

I almost laugh. "Okay. Thank you."

Another knock on my bedroom door. "Is there room for one more?" Hellen smiles.

"Always!" Dad says happily as he pats his hand down on the bed where Hellen sits.

"You guys really need to start locking your front door. We live in New York for crying out loud," she says.

Hellen sits beside me, covering herself in the blankets. "Are you still coming tonight? You better be — I don't like this depressed and lazy Brandy. This isn't like you."

I nod. "I think I'll go. I probably need to get out anyway."

"That's my girl," she says. "You can drink a shitload of beer and just forget about all the drama for one night."

"I hate beer," I gag.

"Okay," she says, hanging out the y for a while. "You can have something else then. Whatever you want, I'll make sure they have a years supply."

"You're the best." I curl up beside her. "I'm a mess," I laugh. "Look at me." I stare right at her. "This is so not me — or at least I don't want this to be me. Why am I such a bum? I haven't moved in forty eight hours."

"You're hurting?" She says. "And you're right: this isn't you and this isn't normal. But you're sad, and this is the norm for hurt people."

"Can I just pack all my bags and move somewhere far away with you? We can go anywhere, you name it. I just need to get away from New York. This summer was supposed to be a getaway, you know. Benji and I were going to drive to Connecticut and then maybe even up to Canada. I never expected my getaway would be from him."

"I'll tell you what: If you don't make up with Benji by the time your school ends, we will go on that trip together, how does that sound?"

"Amazing!" I say. "But something tells me we aren't going to be making up anytime soon."

Her eyes narrow. "Why do you say that?"

"Because..." I sigh. "I don't know how to move on from this one. He really outdid it this time."

"You say that every time," she laughs. "And then a week later it's back to never leaving his side. It's annoying." She playfully rolls her eyes. "Make up your mind, woman!"

"I'm trying!" I groan. "I'm not the one who went and screwed everything up. I gave him absolutely everything and he was lying to me for months."

"He was a dick, I agree, but it's not like he actually liked her, right? I mean, his family was being threatened, and even though he was lying about it, he was probably just embarrassed."