One Decision

48. Pleasure was all Mine

Figured out y'all might need a confession from Ace too. I think I have been confusing you guys with him. 

Vote and comment!

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Athena

I whined lowly in irritation, my body aching as I found a much more comfortable and warm surface.

"Ena....?" Wait. He was still here? I wanted to hum to his call the least but couldn't. I was exhausted to open my eyes and my throat was sore.

I heard him sigh, before tugging me closer to him. Ace played with my hair as his heart thumped under my ear. Such a soothing sound.

"I am sorry, Ena. I really am." Ace started whispering again. "I am sorry I hurt you so much. I was selfish, I didn't care if I hurt anyone as long as I kept my facade safe."

I swallowed my spit silently, straining to listen since he was almost murmuring.

Ace was silent for a long time, before letting out a soft chuckle.

"Remember the time we met? Not at the altar, two years back in a gala? I ran into you and you tipped your champagne on my shoes. Me being the asshole I started yelling at you for my mistake. And you being you stood there with crossed arms, listening to my shouting with so much boredom on your face, you amused me with that reaction. One reason I couldn't get you out my mind for five whole months."

....he had me in his mind after that unfortunate incident?

"And then my Uncle had to come up with your proposal. I didn't know it was you until I saw you in that gorgeous dress, in front of me at the altar. I still remember my heart leaping in the realization that I was gonna marry the same girl who gave me sleepless nights. I hated that you bothered me, another reason I was rude to you."

"I thought you were a gold digger. I am sorry, but I did think that way. I have never seen a girl agreeing on this quick to a marriage to a person she doesn't even know."

.....he clearly hasn't been in Wattpad.

"You didn't give a shit that I was being rude like you knew what was coming for you and still came forward. You are right, you put up with every shit I threw your way. You didn't complain, you were so patient with me. No one ever has, they ran away as soon as they got the chance."

"All this made me even more confused than I was. I realized I liked you around when you left that night after the stupid dinner right after I didn't trust you. I am glad you were at your house even though it was unintended. It made me realize that you too are a human being and that you have a mind and heart which would hurt and break."

"I was so fucking sorry, I was so desperate to have you back that I got out in that damn storm. And I had to argue with you then too."

"My past ruined me, Ena. It made me so fucking unstable. I didn't want to drag you in this, but you jumped right in and fought my demons, you stayed by my side. No one has ever done that for me, they always left at some point. I thought you would too, but you didn't. Every time I see you hurt knowing it's because of me I get frustrated. I beg you to leave because I don't want you hurt."

"I just...I want you to leave this hellhole, Athena. It will definitely break me, but you deserve so much more. I can't give you what you deserve."

His voice became louder, yet weak and gruff. The familiar strain in his deep coarse voice hit my heart in painful stabs.

His voice is breaking. This is a nightmare.

"That's why. That's why I try to keep you away so you or I wouldn't fall for each other but you were so fucking persistent. You are the most selfless and patient person I have ever seen. I should be so damn lucky to have you after the crappy life I had."

"...Why won't you leave?" The low growl was hurt, it was as if he himself didn't like what he was saying. A lump started growing in my throat, tight and huge.

"Be fucking selfish for once like the seven billion other people in this world and leave me, go and find some good guy who can actually take care of you." A cold drop of water splashed on my cheek, causing my slipping consciousness to regain its attention.

Is he...crying?

"I am thinking of you all the time, I find myself planning a future with you. But then reality slaps me in the face. The storm....the grey storm you love destroys everything it sees, Ena. It's not something to love, it's dangerous enough to suck your life out."

"I am begging, I am fucking begging you to leave me alone and let me suffer alone. Even if this takes to hurt you I am willing to do it. Trust me, when you cling onto someone more worthy you will be thankful we separated."

Thankful, my ass.

I couldn't even open my eyes or I would have given him a reason to clean his ears the next day. 

He can say if I am flustered, he can say if I wanted to desperately tell him something, he will understand what was in my mind way before I muttered it out loud.

But, just to my luck, no matter how many times I tell him he doesn't understand that I love him and want to be with him, him only.

Ace suddenly let out a short, humorless chuckle. "I make the longest conversation with you and you are asleep. Just great."

...only if he knew. 

In a weird way, I am glad he is talking now. I now know he doesn't hate me after all. This is such relief.

"Strangely, I...I am glad you are asleep now, or I won't be able to speak this much. My open-minded communication skills are shitty, and it's the main reason for all the arguments we ever had."

I know, and it's alright Ace. No one is perfect.

"I have this stupid habit of not opening up even when I feel things way too much. I am scared to be naked in front of anyone, even in front of you. I don't want you to get scared and run away, I want you to stay. I want you to stay so badly that I need to leave you. I know, it almost makes no sense." Yes. It doesn't. 

Life hates us together.

"Fuck, this feels nice. Pouring my heart out even though you are not awake feels nice. Should have done this before, blame my dumbass till your content, Athena." His mumble got lower, burying his face in my hair and breathing in deeply.

I felt him move under me. I tried hard to not shout at him to stay still and let me enjoy what I have having.

"Since my lagged up speaking openly part is done, my job here is done too." What?

Ace kissed my cheeks, his fingers caressing them delicately.

"In the morning when I leave, don't you dare care for me. I am way too broken to carry you in my arms safe and sound."

...he is leaving. 

Stop him. Fuck, do something, stop him!

I couldn't even open an eyelid.

"I never hated you, Athena. I hope you know that. You were wonderful, a ray of bright sunshine in my darkness." The deep brittle sounded like it hit a gutter harshly.

Now leaving a long but chaste kiss on my lips, he traced the side of my face, pushing back the fallen strands of hair as my mind helplessly shouted in me.

Don't let him go, do something!

I can't!

I felt him smile against my lips, his salty tears on my face causing my own to escape from the closed eyes.

Please, don't leave. I need you in my life, Ace.

"...It was a pleasure, Mrs. Williams."