Chapter 63

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Sorry for the long wait to upload! It's hectic down there. I hope you all had a great holidays and enjoy!
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I had no clue where I wanted to begin but promised to represent my heart. I was tired of fighting and needed things to be right; someone next to me, and I would not let my ego drown my feelings. I hoped things would return to normal after today. Either way, I needed a ride to return to campus.

Despite my heart palpitating and headaches submerging on my temple, I plodded to him. He opened his mouth to say a word; I cut him off by raising my index.

"You're going to say something petty about Chris dropping me off, but can I please explain? I should have done it a long time ago, even though we're both at fault, so I need to clear my side."

"Oh please, I would love to hear it." He adjusted his posture with a sarcastic smile. I rolled my eyes, already frustrated by his bitchy behavior.

"I don't know what you think about Chris and why you have this urge to blow his brain out, but it's nothing. It stings. Do you think I can have another relationship besides ours? Yes, and I can assure you, he is devoting his life to Christ. We have had a friendship since I moved out here. His mother needed help, and my father helped her, and that is it!"

"I never said anything about cheating."

"Yeah, right. I don't think you're insecure. you shouldn't. You're just getting delusional."

"Okay, you're insulting me now."

"What I am saying, you're being overprotective. You have no problem when I hang out with the boys at school but with Chris because you don't know who he is. You don't have control over him. You're afraid. You're scared he is going to rape me. I assure you Chris is not a disgusting person like that. He also wants to protect me just like you!"

"It didn't occur to you to talk to me before?"

"I would if you gave me a chance!"

"No, that has nothing to do with my shit. You could have told me before you dip on me, lie to me and tell that man my secret."

"I lied to you so I can see Chris, and you know what?" I stepped closer to him. "I am not sorry about it. I knew you wouldn't understand. I didn't lie to you to cheat on you or disrespect you. I did it for you!" I pointed at his chest. "When I didn't have you or anyone, Chris was the one that kept me sane, so yeah, I went to him so he can help me, help us! It bothers me you think I am a liar or imprudent. I would never, in my life, expose you to any harm! You can say I betrayed and lied to you, but I did it out of love!"

"It wasn't your right to tell no one else about Jake." He hissed closer to my face.

"You're right. Certain things I should have talked to you about it first. I didn't have your permission to tell someone else something like that. I am sorry about that. I am truly am and, I shouldn't have told Chris. It's your life. Paint me as the bad guy, as if you did nothing wrong." I snapped back.

"Don't fucking turn this around."

"Oh, you did nothing wrong?" I chuckled with surprise. "You lied to me too! You were telling me you are okay when you can't even fucking sleep at night? Do you think I am fucking blind? You took pills and drugged yourself. You're fucking addicted to sex! But every time I tried to have an open and honest conversation, you threw me away. You never told me you were looking for a therapist. You just left me in the dark and wondering. Maybe if you told me you were looking for help, I would have left you alone."

"Why did you think I wanted to speak to you? I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want to worry about you. You already have tons of shit going on."

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