Emergency Medical Dad

LXII: present, late October

JESSIE 

And it sucks. It sucks to have him gone, to have Connor start bugging me day after day when when when because I'm asking myself the same things. It sucks back to front to have him gone again just after I got him back for just one night. It sucks knowing that even though we're so close, we're not quite there yet and we still have so much work to do to get there.

Jay and I have been working over the phone for a week and a half now just trying to sort through what we have to do to end up in Canada legally. Finding the paperwork in the first place, much less trying to figure out how we fill it out and where we submit it has been impossible.

He's on a road trip now and has come to the conclusion that he hates the whole process of trying to do it ourselves and will go to the City Hall in Regina when he gets home to see if they have anyone there that's willing to help him figure out how to get us up to Canada with him.

Connor has caught on to how awful the whole process is and has been trying his honest best to figure out a bypass, and although his schemes for crossing his image of the border (a massive, fortified wall, with soldiers every hundred feet and a fleet of airplanes going back and forth across it to keep it protected) are incredibly detailed and often use diagrams and charts and math I don't really think they've taught him how to use correctly, they're not exactly what we're struggling with right now.

One of Jorgen's favorite schemes of his is the one where his prosthetic leg is used as a trebuchet projectile.

Mine is the one where we enter a coal mine in Montana posing as miners and then create a new strip mine and go under the border.

Connor's favorite involves hijacking a boat and sailing out into the Pacific, then looping around and entering from the north. When I asked him what we'd be doing on the boat, he was completely under the impression we would be "playing cards and watching youtube" which, I didn't tell him there's no service in the middle of the Pacific. Well, there might be, I don't know, I've never been.

"So," Connor interrupts my thoughts as I lean over the computer in the living room, scrolling through yet another Canadian page.

"So?" I look up at him, glad that he's interrupted my toiling.

"I have my best plan yet," he flops down next to me, hands pressed together, evil little grin on his face.

"You do?"

"Yeah," he nods. "So, Dad is in Canada, right?"

I still haven't gotten used to him calling Jorgen Dad, but he seems to really like doing it and hasn't said Jorgen at all except on the phone with him, apparently realizing that maybe telling Jorgen that he knows is not a great plan right now.

"Right."

"If we just sneak him into the president's house," Connor makes his two fingers walk up his arm. "And he kills him, right, which, killing people is bad, I know, but if he kills the president of Canada, and then you and I, me as the main agent, of course, you as my backup, we sneak into the Whitehouse, past all the guards and stuff, and then we sneak into his room and kill him too, then both nations descend into chaos-" he smacks his hands together. "And in the chaos of both countries being without leadership, we jump the border, steal people's citizenship cards, and move in with him while things quiet down-" he cuts off, giving me the side eye- "or descend further into chaos, in which we can be rogues and fight zombies."

"Why are there zombies?"

"Because chaos. The government has them, I know they do, they're just contained and killing the president would cause enough... what's the word?"