The Smirking Jerk (Blake's POV)

Chapter 71

Chapter 71

Lexi was looking at me and I was looking at her.

And as I did, all I could think was I didn't love her before. I had been obsessed with her, sure, but I had never loved her. I hadn't known how to, I hadn't known her truly.

I'd love a version of her I'd made in my head.

But things were different now.

I knew Lexi.

I loved Lexi.

I was in love with her.

"I'm in love with you."

How many times would I have to think about this, how many times, before she could hear it, feel it, see it in my eyes?

"I'm in love with you."

How could I make her see without telling her, without scaring her off... without losing her? I couldn't lose her. Not anymore.

If I had though before that losing her would be awful, of hearing her say I was a heartless no good to love stinking dick was heart wrenching, now... now I had her in my life, now I knew what it felt like to be close to her.

And if I lost that... I couldn't survive it. I wouldn't want to survive it.

I'm in love with you.

When would I be able to say it to her?

When would my Pumpkin stop being my unattainable dream? Would she ever?

I was so hopeful, maybe too hopeful.

I shouldn't assume that just because Lexi sometimes might kinda wanna maybe kiss me meant that she felt the same way I did.

Just because she was jealous of other girls talking to me didn't have to mean that she wanted me the way I wanted her.

But good lord would it be amazing if she did.

I'd never thought I could have that chance in this lifetime.

Lexi was still looking at me.

Lexi with her big brown eyes, and her frizzy hair.

Lexi in her green dress, smiling at me.

"On you it does," I told her softly, smiling.

Lexi's eyes kind of widened over that slight compliment, looking almost panicky, and I couldn't help but chuckled at her expression.

She'd just been staring at me, saying nothing after I said that green looked good on her.

If this made her panic, how bad would it be if I told her everything I'd been thinking.

I really wanted to know what was in her head now. As much as I knew her, her mind was still often a mystery to me.

"What's funny?" Lexi asked, blinking, the staring stopping.

"Nothing," I replied, shaking my heads, and couldn't help smiling a little too.

Lexi leaned on her elbow, lying on her side, looking directly at me, trapping me between the wall and her body.

No naughty thoughts Blake.

"Spill it Blakey-Boy."

I closed my eyes, feeling too exposed while she looked right back in them.

Spilling it would definitely be... dangerous. In this small pace? Yeah. Dangerous was definitely the world.

Especially if I really wanted to follow through with the whole letting-her-kiss-me-first thing.