Reviews : a book where I try to review other books

16 | Falling for you

BY:

first impression

so, as requested, I read the whole thing and there is a lot to unpack so strap in this one's gonna be quite a ride.

plot
I think it is the basic of basic in the wattpad beginner writer world and honestly I don't quite mind.

The problem for me is that the entire plot is what needs a bit of work if you wisht to continue this book and get some reads.

Granted reads are just one part of writing and if you enjoy writing with no care for reads then you can continue the wackiness of this book.

But nonetheless I will review the book as it is. A book.

The plot was not as predictable as I thought and I don't say this as a compliment.

Sometimes predictability is better than surprising for the sake of surprising them.

A plot twist has to make sense and a purpose not just a shock factor.

The plot twist in this book I couldn't pin point.

Olivia was having the tine of her life wih Ace and then the next she's having fun with Foster then he leaves.

And the entire Emma pregnancy was also going on while all this was happening.

These events are okay and honestly wouldn't be bad to keep in the book the thing is you need to work on pacing each one out.

I'll discuss that one later.

Another thing is that the plot isn't cohesive, if u get what I mean. It's just a series of events with not string, not even a thin one, to attach them.

Yes stories are about series of events happening in a characters life but almost every one has something attached to the previous or next one.

I'll use Up the movie as an example. The plot is wild on paper. Old man dealing with grief makes his house fly with balloons along with a dog, a colorful bird and a young scout.

Somehow this movie still made sense?

It's because of the moments in the story that help stitch each scene together.

While cleaning his house, Carl sees the book, gets an idea and acts upon it.

He meets Russel before hand and they call him back later in the movie.

There are many things that tie the story together in order for it to make sense despite the plot.

What I'm trying to say here is in writing add those strings that will stitch each event together. Whether its an object or a person or something else entirely.

Another thing is a clear conflict. I think Olivia being in love with a guy that has a boyfriend is quite an interesting to embark on honestly.

For me since so much happened in a short time, the conflict isn't clear.

pacing
I think you should take time on each event more.

Take time writing Olivia and her crush on Ace and then take time on their relationship and build up the break up as you go.

Maybe even introduce Foster and then call him back later in the book.

This way you avoid telling and not showing and also you build up the characters, flesh them out enough for them to become realistic.

The current pace was too fast and most times I didn't even realize that the story changed location. One moment they were in school and then one sentence later they're in a party. 

I see that there is a sentence to tie each event but pacing wise it was too quick and you need to take time kind of easing in to the readers that we're changing into another scene. 

The current pacing is like a jump cut from one to another. Try maybe fading slowly to the next plot.

characters
Olivia could use more work establishing her interests other than falling for guys and relationships.

Give her a moment in her room and give her moments with Emma or other characters.

Same goes for other characters. Have then interact more, write down the dialogue that can be used later.

Like their interests or things they do or like or will do.

dialogue

As mentioned I think the characters need more interactions with each other and more dialogue can help that. 

Another thing is that the dialogue felt very forced and must I say,  shallow. 

My tip would be to have an idea what the topic of a conversation will be, how it will start, and how it can branch to the next topic. 

For me I struggle with dialogue a lot so I tend to study shows and movies on how the script flows and even read dialogue reliant mediums like comics and webcomics. 

Sometimes I even study reality shows or interviews to study speech. 

These are just my personal tips on studying dialogue. 

But the most helpful way to make a dialogue sound more natural is literally acting the scene out yourself. This way you can get an idea on how it will sound if an actual person were to act out the dialogue. 

descriptions

There was little of these in the story and that removes the feeling that the world these characters live in are real. 

My tip would be to describe the big things for a start, like location, prominent feature of location and the other character the main character is interacting with, and the setting [weather, buys/quiet, is there other people around, vibe of the location]

Then you can add the details, the detail on the prominent feature of location or character, a tiny detail you want to add that can be either symbolism or something that will be used later in the scene.]

Is it compelling?

As someone who has read only a couple of books on wattpad, most being fanfiction, I can say it's not as compelling plot wise.

But that Im not to saying it won't harbor readers. There are a lot  people on this platform who like stories with wild plots as it cqn be entertaining, the way for you to make it interesting is the way you'll write it. 

The reason most readers stay for a book is the writing. 

overall

Sadly I wasn't as impressed as I hoped but please don't bring yourself down with this review. I tried to be as honest as possible and provide suggestions and tips to improve your book.

I think the book does have potential and has a chance to hook readers because personally I did like reading the wackiness of it, once the writing gets better and better, I bet this book will do amazing.

Anyway I hope this book didn't come off as rude as this one is quite a brutal review in my opinion. I also hope it helped somehow. Have a good day/night, continue writing, and farewell!