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Vera huffed, looking down at the text she'd sent to her brother, all being ignored. First she'd asked about how the meeting last night went, then asked if he wanted to have lunch, and then sent about five text seeing if he knew anything about Alexander. All of which had been ignored, not being seen because far too focused on something else. Vera clicked off, hitting Erik's name as she looked at their text together again.
Take your medicine, Vera.
Have you taken your meds today?
Do you need a refill yet?
Take your pills.
Vera's eyes traveled back to the orange bottle, staring at them. A week and a half without them. She asked herself why she wasn't taking them, knowing they really did help. So why not take them? Why not just take one small pill in the morning like you always do? Why are you acting this way? Why are you rebelling? Why are you being so stupid? Why? Why did Erik die? Why'd he get in that stupid car? Why? Why was my brother dead? Why am I so stupid?
Vera stood up from her bed, gripping her head tightly as her thoughts over filled her brain. She took deep breaths, feeling sick, holding onto her head tightly as she tried to picture white walls, nothing except herself seated in the room. Why was Alexander there? Why was he sitting infront of her asking where she was? Why was Wilhelm there? Why was he calling her a bad sister for not knowing how to help him be a good prince? Why was her mother there telling her to not eat that, to cover your pimples, not to speak, not to cry, just to smile, just to look educated. Why was Erik infront of her with blood running down his face, telling her to take her medicine.
"Leave me alone!" Vera cried out, her knees giving out as they hit the floor and her body pushed against the door. She held her head in her hands, fingers locked behind her skull, taking breaths as she sat still. Why was she crying? What was there to cry about? Why did she feel like everything was wrong? Why was this happening? Why couldn't she stop crying? Why couldn't her head just stop spinning? Why couldn't she feel any emotion outside of sadness? What was wrong? What was wrong enough to cry like this about?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
"Vera?" a voice heard, a knock on the door. "Are you in there?"
Vera swallowed, holding her head a second as she tried to disguise her voice a second. "Who is it?"
"Madison."she called from the other side. "Felice wanted me to come see if you wanted to stay in our dorm tonight? Sara will be there."
She didn't want to go. She wanted to sit in her bed. She wanted to lay completely still. She wanted to stare at a wall and pretend nothing was real, everything was just paused for the night.
"She was nominated as Lucia and could really use a night with friends to calm her nerves." Madison added in when she hadn't gotten an answered.
Vera yanked on her own hair as her jaw clinched. "I'll be there tonight."
