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"You good?" Demetrius asked me when he closed the door after Kaelyn and Landon left.
"Yeah i'm okay, just thinking." I said standing by the Island.
It's the fact that I literally missed seeing her grow up. I couldn't be the mother that she needed and that bothers me. And when I was depressed cause I thought she died, I felt like dying myself.
Like imagine not seeing your daughter since she was 6 months old then getting told that she died when she was 17. I was so sad to the point where I wasn't eating at all, and I wouldn't go anywhere. Meditating wasn't helping, writing wasn't helping, anything i was doing to cope.....just nothing was helping.
"Thinking bout' what?" He asked leaning on the counter.
"Demetri I missed out on her whole life, what if im not gone be good at this stuff?" I said.
"You already good at it, you don't see how happy she is to just talk to you all the time?" He said.
"But I feel guilty cause I missed out- Jamilah I promise you Kaelyn looked passed that cause she know it's not yo' fault. You here now and that's all that matter for real, don't trip bout' it." He said and I sighed.
