Reviews : a book where I try to review other books

14 | Hours with you

BY:

First Impression:

It was interesting to read a story about a girl curious about the more scientific or on paper definition of love.

My only take is that maybe have less blatant in the story. Especially in the beginning.

Maybe have the character be more subtle on her question. Have her start from somewhere.

Example:

[I forgot whether it was in first or third pov but I'll write in first]

Love is word I hear a lot. Whether it was in saying they love something or someone. It was a word that everyone seems to know about. 

Except me. 

Then she asks her mother the questions and the rest of what you've written. I just added that part to start the flow and not to seem abrupt. 

Plot:
I love the plot! I can see it as a fun teen fiction book with wholesome interactions.

But I do have some things to say about the way the plot was conveyed.

Pacing:
Although the pacing is good wattpad pace wise I think it can use to slow down maybe just a tad bit.

The news about the guy she was about to marry bailing is not heart wrenching on her side which makes sense but maybe take the time for the readers to see the reactions of everyone else around her.

Instead of her narrating it later.

It's so that it can provide realism to her surroundings. To her family which might be mentioned again later.

And can introduce interesting side characters that make books more memorable.

Characters:

I think you've established them pretty well and their characteristics without having to spell it out for the readers. They have distinct personalities which is a great thing. 

Maybe though, expand their interactions more. Take time writing each moment they have together. This is so each scene is more memorable.

Dialogue:

There are a lot of times where the english seems too formal and forced. I can see the intent and what the lines are trying to convey but most of the time it comes off as formal as I've mentioned. 

It's mostly on every interaction that happened in the chapters that I've read so I can't write all if it here. And honestly I would like to help out but that is really just because I love the plot so much and I really think this book has so much potential to be an amazing book. 

So, genuinely, if you need help in terms of dialogue. I'm more than willing to help. 

Descriptions:

As per every other review I've mentioned. Take time to describe scenery, setting, and the times where the moment is important. Like moments where it feels like time stopped, etc. 

Is it compelling:

Yes, definitely. Maybe to me anyway as I love plots like these. I think this book would be a fun read and refreshing even. 

Overall:

I think on all categories I've laid out, you need work but books take a lot of time to 'perfect' so yeah just take your time editing as you go. I honestly have much more to say about the book but it's very nitpicky if I must say and as of now I can't say it as much. 

Anyway, I might edit this again but I hope this review didn't come off as rude and as was able to help in some way even if it was short. Have a good day/night, farewell!