'I Don't Care If You're Contagious' 12

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Ash found himself leaning against the cold rusted railing again outside the tiny apartment, his mind was running to fast for him to completely understand what he was feeling that very moment, he didn’t know if he should cry right then or laugh. His shoulders felt heavy like someone dumped a load of FUCK YOU’S and confusion on his body. He took the time to imagine what it might feel like, all that weight. He imagined that it felt like this right now. Like a rubber toy.. A puppet, played with to many times and toyed with so much that no energy was left inside him what so ever. It was hard work to just keep his eyes open and his mind functioning. He felt physically and mentally sick, just like when he killed that family. For some reason all the emotion just came slamming back into him just like that, trolling his mind with hate and disgusting thoughts.

He leaned against the cool raining and looks down to the busy streets of people, who had lives and normal jobs… a family… a lover.

“ I could do it again” He mumbled to himself

Smiling slightly Ash shook his head, but he wouldn’t because he was a coward. Sighing and zipping up his sweater all the way he made his way into the apartment and flopped down on the coach next to Shilo who had a box full of Kleenex and hot tea on her lap. Ash eyed the television for a long time trying to get his mind working around what was playing. It was the movie ‘ August Rush’ about some couple who shacked in one night then got separated for 11 years. Both not knowing they had a kid.

“ This is a retarded movie, I don’t know why you spend your time watching it countless times just so you can cry” Ash huffed and crossed his arms across his chest suddenly upset.

Ash felt the sudden twitch in Shilo body and knew he made a mistake, Shilo loved her movie and hated when ever anybody insulted a specific one she took a liking to.

“ Well excuse me Mr.Heartbroken, but I happen to like this movie. Not because of the guy but because it shows that after years and complications love can still be found” Shilo grinned at Ash

“ I call bullshit”

“ Alright tell me what’s wrong Mr.Grumpy Pants” Shilo stuck her lower lip out and paused the movie.

“ Nothings wrong now play the damn movie” Ash took his eyes away from hers and looked at the TV intently waiting.

“ Ahhh is it that boy Nathan, the one that kissed you and the one that has photos of you and him plastered around the school? that’s the boy your thinking about and so upset?’’

Ash shook his head refusing to give in

Shilo laughed and poked Ash in the rib “ You sir are a baaaadddd liar, It is him, come on you wouldn’t have took a whole damn week off school to mop around the house and cry at night for nothing” Ash whipped his head towards Shilo and gaped realizing that she heard him wailing like baby at night time.

“Oh yes Ashy I heard you crying, now tell me whats wrong? And if you lie or don’t say anything… I’m not cooking supper tonight” Shilo smiled and placed her small hands on her lap and sat up straight.

Ash’s stomach growled, he hated himself because now he was going against his own word. He couldn’t even make up his own mind and stick to his plans just because he was hungry.

“ Damn it! Fine….fuck, and yes its Nathan. I’m confused, I’m hurt, I’m damaged, I’m more broken then ever and worst of all I’m so fucking scared.”

“Ash just stop there, stop lying to yourself baby I can see you have feelings for Nathan… theres no reason to be scared. I understand that this is all something new… but its high time you got of your horse and started living a little… live your life Ash it’s time you did” Shilo reached across the table and handed Ash the phone

“ Don’t ask but… hold down 5 and it will dial Nathans cell… Just do it right now and if you want I’ll sit here right with you. I can see what you want Ash, and you know what you want to. So just talk to Nathan and set things straight… all I want for you is to be happy”

Ash took the phone in his shaky hands, he felt numb all over from Shi’s words and a ringing sound filled his ears as he brought the phone up to his ear. The thought of hearing Nathans voice again… to hear his laughter again made Ash flutter a bit inside.

“ Hellooooooooo ?” The voice on the side of the phone was soft and sweet but the voice that followed in the background was husky and deep and made Nathans skin crawl. “Who is that baby, come back to bed okay”

Ash slammed the off the bottom and through the phone, his heart was beating fast and wild. He couldn’t breath, and his head hurt. Ash sat back on the coach and hugged his knees sticking his head in the middle and let the wave of tears take over well Shilo padded and soothed him.

'I Don't Care If You're Contagious'   BoyxBoyWhere stories live. Discover now